July 31, 2006
Hey kids, real genuine poll !!!
So here it is....you have ten options:
CTV still has it's poll up as of today , go vote and nudge the 'yes' vote ahead. Thanks to ???, gee i like to give credit to where i got some ideas from but it was late when i posted this and i can't remember who's site had posted a blurb urging people to go vote at the glob or ctv...gulp, my apologies!!!!
July 30, 2006
Harper Not Really Skipping Montreal's Outgames
Wife Boreen is not happy about Steve's disguise, saying he's been wearing it around 24 Sussex, "Just a little too much. I can understand why he has to do something so horrible for the sake of the Nation, but this is not the Method School of Acting here and we're using up too much butter. No more 'Last Tango' after this and I'll never complain about missionsary position again!".
Have fun, Stevey-Joe, and remember which team you're batting for!
Check out Queerty as well as The Kalamalka Rainbow for Gay News/Opinion
This today from CBC, Gay and Lesbian Emergence: Out in Canada (I'm sure there's many innacurracies, but...).
Clan Mothers Rock On - 407 error !
Women Title Holders file objection to Ontario 407 ETR highway
The uber-cool Six Nations Clan Mothers keep going on reclamation and have sent in their objection over Ontario's foreign owned Highway 407. What to look for in the near future - no more tolls. In the further future - Native Sovereignty and bands having returned to their Mother Clan , paving (pardon the pun) the way to the truest form of democracy.
The oligarchy and megalomaniacs will be crying, but not to worry, we'll console. Spread the love!
July 29, 2006
"Still Crazy, After All These Years..."
B&B's comments in a few years when they're finito:"Ya, but we sure had some good times."
Condi's Piece Package
Resplendant in her Israeli Designer Combat gear, U.S. Secretary Condoleezza Rice is undaunted that she can't land in the Lo-East because of increased fighting. "They're having communication problems because of all the war noise. If they knew I was on my way again they'd stop, after all, I'm Condi Rice and they're not". Condi is also certain the noise interfered with Israeli troops not being able to hear the pleas from the UN personell who were killed by a missile. "Honestly, everyone's making such a big fuss about it. If people had been wearing their radio earphones like my cool Sigal Dekels, it wouldn't have happened...so who's to blame? The UN people should have known better."
Condi expects to be able to land as soon as Lebanon and Israel know she's in the area again. The U.S. piece plan seeks an international agreement on a UN-mandated fashion force that can provide good-looks in the region.
Condi's Piece Package also includes:
- Do a make-over on Hezbollah and integrate the guerrilla force into the Lebanese army with designer uniforms.
- Create the piece of land held by Israel and claimed by Lebanon into a shopping mall called "The Plaza Strip".
- create a piece of land as a "buff zone" where only 'hotties' can go.
- convince Hezbollah to carry Prada purses.
- create an international Beauty Pageant for Lebanon.
July 28, 2006
ROCK ON, SISTERS! The Answer is Blowin' in the Wind
These women rock! It must be close to 150 days they've held their land at the Henco site at Caledonia, despite the OPP going in, using tasers and billie clubs on unarmed men, women and youth. The RCMP and Army have been on standby in close proximity, the U.S. has had their ATF up spying on them, Judge Marshall has made bogus coury orders, which have been ignored. Locals have hurled garbage, rocks, racist comments, Premier Dalton McGuinty tries his best to clamp them down, Caledonia Mayor Marie Traynor and negotiator David Petersen have shown their racist stripes.
This and dealing with the elements of weather but Six Natiions holds strong, which is a message to us all not to loose hope in the face of adversity. The Clan Mothers are inspiring, to say the least....and if anything, the work towards Native Sovereignty will grant us ALL liberation from the powers that be in the illegal nation of Canada.
Some of the best things you can do to help:
Subscribe to MNN News
Put an MNN Banner on your site
DONATE to the Mohawks holding the land:
Money, clothing, walkie talkies, tents, blankets...to enquire
email Hazel Hill
or Jaqueline House
DONT FORGET TO CHECK OUT Neuronic's BAD ASS GEOGRAPHY TUTORIAL
Please Don't Feed The Injuns
July 27, 2006
General Steve Joe Harper
Oh he's itching for it, isn't he? After Busholini gave him his combat name, Steve, Harper's just been waiting for NATO to be called upon to the defence of Israel. While his combat gear that he ordered from the back of a Superman comicbook took a few weeks to arrive and he checked the mail everyday, Steve was so excited when it came he tried it on immediatley. Boreen says he had to cancel an appointment with the parents of the slain Canadian UN worker to do it, but he just couldn't contain his glee.
In addition, Steve had ordered his new King James Special Wartime edition, which is said to replace any need for a helmut or other protection. Said Boreen, "He's so brave anyways. On the flight to Cyprus, he just kept reminding me that The Lord was on our side and we were safe. It's not true what the reports said about him peeing his pants because of fear, it was because he doesn't like to go number one and two when there's anyone but his guards around'.
Great Steve, we'll just tack on a bill to the taxpayers for all the Depends you'll need if you keep heading in the direction you are.
July 26, 2006
'Yo, eh? The Provincial dudes ain't so rude,
wind ain't crude but we didn't get screwed.
Cuz what the province say and the Mohawk say , it don't matter anyway.
They paid off Henco, they'll pay us off after we make the public scoff
at Six Nations for holding back 'Green', get some eco's on the provincial team.
Wham bam, what a sham, the prov ain't so good at their little scams.
But we don't care long as money's coming
so damn the injuns and the people running
for election cuz next time around
we know we can get some other ground,
and wind, and fire and water,
we're just acting like people think we oughta'.
Yes but when will we get the WHOLE TRUTH?
So Prime Minister Ehud Omert, are we really expected to believe your investigation into the incident....your track record wouldn't indicate so:
"In the 1970s, Olmert was rumored to be a party to a complex scheme involving well-known Jerusalem businessmen, organized crime, corrupt legislators, and retired General Rechavam Ze'evi. This affair was documented in investigative journalist Aryeh Avneri's Ha'tvusa in 1992. During the run-up to the Ze'evi libel suit, Olmert allegedly took funds from the Likud treasury for his defense fund, although his lawyers were from his own law firm, which would effectively constitute bribery.  All accusations against Olmert were eventually settled out of court.
Israeli businessman David Appel has been suspected of bribing both Sharon and Olmert, while he was mayor of Jerusalem, in what is known as the Greek island affair.
On February 20, 2006, it was disclosed that an inquiry is being carried out on the 1999 sale and lease-back of Olmert's Jerusalem house, which allegedly was done on financial terms very favorable to Olmert, in what would amount to be an illegal campaign contribution and/or bribe. "(from the Wiki article).
July 25, 2006
Supreme Beings Conference
I got to wondering how the Supreme Being of Christianity, Islam and Judaism are portrayed by various artists. This called for a jaunt into Google Images where a myriad of paintings, photos and goofy things met my eyes. Each search for Allah, God and Yahweh brought up animals named after the deities of the major religions who are partaking in major wars.
I thought I'd lay down these pets in a pasture of green, but only Yahweh the cat was somewhat prostrate. Then I imagined their conversation: 'arf, woof' 'meow, prrrrr' 'whinney, neigh'.
And from that we should all heed their lessons.
National Encryer - Boreen Tells All
July 24, 2006
Secrets Revealed (Too Much Information!)
Britain's PM Tony Blair is going with the polls and cutting off all lingerings of his affair with President Bush. Always the opportunist, Blair's now differing posture from his G-string 8 Summit is based on a Guardian/ICM poll. The PM had to break the news to Bush, who's taken it fairly well as his new rose-coloured glasses subserviant, Steve Harper, follows the Prez's every whim.
Blair - I say, George, hope you don't mind but I do have my popularity to consider.
Bush - Ya, I understand...want a snort?
Blair - No thank you.
Bush - Given up on that as well as me? Heck, that's alright Tony, I'm still workin' hard.
Blair - I knew you'd understand, old chap. And it was great while it lasted.
Bush - Ya, we had some good times up on that mountain.
Blair - Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Bush - Huh? Speak english will ya?
Blair - I do believe I'm the expert on that one, George.
Bush - Not that old arguement again.
Meantime, Whitehouse sources have leaked why Bush chooses Diet Coke as the Breakfast of Champions. Seems he just can't get over Clinton's success.
The Mad Tea Party
By Mark Bryan
The recent drama over Georgie dumping Rice for Tony Blair then moving on to Steve Harper has paired Toni and Condi. Somehow the jilted attracted each other... Tony being head of the Labour Party may have a lot to do with it. At any rate Condi's now talking ceasefire along with Tony, demonstrating their strength as a new couple. Blair has no aversion to helping with the newborn.
The British PM says he may consider siding with Bush if Bush calls him 'Tone'. Rice says she'll also think things over if Mr. President will continue to supply battery operated Patriot Missiles, which have a far superior effect to cigars.
July 23, 2006
The Joy of Cooking - Quick Condi Rice
Ingredients: 120 lb. U.S. Secretary of Defense, (can substitute with 120 lb. sacraficial lamb), 1,000 lbs. of carnage, 2 ounces salt, 5 stalks celery, 6 lbs. carrots, 8 pounds lentils.
Directions: Send the main ingredient to the Middle East and let cure for a few days with Patriot Missile smoke. Chop vegetables with arrow and add to cauldron. Once cured, place main ingredient in cauldron. Add salt and stir with wooden spoon. Cook on high temperature for a few daze. Dip ladle in and make sure lamb is cured. If not, send for electro-shock therapy and add 12 boxes of valium. Let steep for years.
This is a difficult recipe as the cure rate of the main ingredient can vary depending on how long it's been in the stockyards. Experiment a few times and as always, the more your love goes into your creation, the better the after taste.
Steve, Boreen and Neo-Conology
After a few weeks of a hectic shcedule inlcluding kowtowing to Bush, the Gr8 Scumpit and single-handidly rescuiing Canadians in Lebanon, it was time for Mr. and Mrs. Harper to take a break.
Seen here at the MKULTRA Tanning Salon, The Harper's got a quick blast and Scientology-like zap as reward for upholding Focus on the Family values. L. Ron Bush gave the approving nod.
The Mr. and Mrs. were heading out to Winners to beef up their wardrobe afterwards, then for a quick bite at Tim Hortons to help support Canadian troops in Afganistan who are out of donuts.
July 22, 2006
Kiss me, dahling
July 21, 2006
Leba-non and Iz-unrael
Slow News Day
As the tensions of getting the first load of Canadians out of Lebanon has died down, this gives us the opportunity to catch up on some of the Harper meetings at the Gr8 Scumpit. Steve's meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel went well, and here's an exert from a tape recorder hidden in the shoe of Get Smart, seen next to Angela.
Angela: Vell Stefan, I can call you Stefan, jah?
Harper: Ve shall have to check vith my mamma but go ahead because I vould like to brown-nose vith all Gr8 members.
Angela: You are so very handsome, you I would allow to rub my shoulders.
Harper: Ho ho, sank you but ze Lord says in ze Ten Commandments not to do zis.
Angela: How do you do it, how do you sway your people so well?
Harper: Vell, first I go all baby-like und make ze press not ask me questions, und zen I rip up zings like accords as Heir Bush has taught me
Angela: Please, don't mention ze creep!
Harper: Ho ho, Angela you women's liberation types! Anyways, you'll like zis part, then I lift my arm like ze Furher....hang on I show you!
BOTH: Ho ho, har har, hah hah hah!
July 20, 2006
Stop! In the Name of Cons !
Those clever publicists! Here we thought the whole Steve and Boreen flight to Cyprus was a political photo-op, when really it was to make their singing debut and launch their first CD !!!!! Available on Walmart shelves as of today, 'Stop! In the name of Cons' is selling like hotcakes at $11.99 with 6% gst.
Stop! In the name of Cons
Before we break your bank.
I'm aware of where you go
Each time you leave your door
I watch you walk down the street
Knowing Big Brother you'll meet
But this time I reveal I'm him
Leaving you sea-sick and thin
(think it over) after I've been good to you
(think it over) after i've been Gr8 to you
Stop! in the name of Cons
Before I break your bank
Stop! in the name of Con
Before I break you bank
Think it over
Think it over
I've taken away
Your individual rights
I've even arrested your kin
Maybe once or twice
But is your vocal expresion
Worth more then my next election?
But this time before I fire my arms
And set off all alarms
(think it over) haven't I been good to you?
(think it over) haven't I been Gr8 to you?
Repeat verse 1
I've tried so hard to be patient
Hoping you'd stop protestation
But each time you ruffle my feathers
You'll be incarcerated forever
So How Come...
So how come Great Britian managed to get a Naval Ship to Lebanon, transport U.K. citizens to Cyprus and fly them to Gatwick on a chartered flight 'in very organized fashion', and four more Naval vessels will arrive today? This while Canada has just put the Canadian Navy on 48 hour alert and there have been nothing but complaints from Canadians stuck in Lebanon about how dis-organized the operation is and how rude the Service people handling it have been.
Our Naval vessels would leave from Halifax...the question is do we still have ships in Hawaii participating in RIMPAC, and do we have ships close to or at the Mid-East according to the Armed Forces operations map shown here?
I'm putting my head back in the sand, at least there's a few grains of truth there.
Super Steve Lands In Cyprus...
...but refuses to get off the plane. The world is secure.
July 19, 2006
Super Hero Harper Prepares for Flight to Cyprus
Prepping for his flight to Cyprus to, er, ah, DO something about the Canadians stucks in Lebanon, our Man of Alloys is in training with security blankets and aides to launch himself over the Atlantic to help contribute to World Wrestling 3.
This is photo-op el supremo. Just think of all the seats being taken up on the plane going over by Harpo, security, aides and staff photographers!!! And Cyrpus isn't in the line of fire, but Super Steve may just leave skid marks on his Stanfield tighty-whities anyways.
Yes, 'The Bigger One' may be upon us, get your duct tape and plastic, cover those windows now. What's that? Halliburton just bought out 3M? Never mind, now that Super Steve's made Canada a target as the doomsday clock ticks closer to midnight, we can all rejoice in Steve's Heaven after we're shadows on the wall. Gr8, can't wait to see my dead relatives and friends, it's been a while.
(inspired by ti-guy at My Blahg)
How To Rescue Canadians in Lebanon
Not only is he good looking and charming, but Omar Sherif is probably one of the most popular movie stars in the Mid-East. Egytian born, Christian raised but converted to Islam, he has a Jewish son and Muslim daughter. PLUS he's popular in Isreal as said he didn't want his daughter raised Muslim....which pissed off the Muslims for a while but all is forgotten, especially when there's kliegs to be shining.
A fleet of 'Omar Sherif On-Location Tour Busses' transporting Canadians in Lebanon as crew could easily make it's way to Syria then up to Turkey where planes could bring evacuees home.
Naw, it's too simple for any bureacracy to handle.
The Real Reason for Delay Evacuating Canadians in Lebanon
Seems the only ships Peter MacKay could find to load Canadians in Lebanon onto is Paul Martin' fleet. I have NO idea what's holding up Paul from getting the ships over and why super-salesman Peter (where's Mary in all of this?) can't convince Paul to hurry up. Do you?
In This Corner...Chuck Strahl vs. Jesse Ventura
From Stolen Moments of Island Time.
Wrestling is back during the WW3 new season. Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura, ace wrestler, hands Agriculture Minister and wrestler wannabe a rubber chicken (oh no, not the dreaded rubber chicken!). Mr. C., as he likes to be called, had a match with Ventura to see who's agri-policy would win. Ventura obviously kicked Strahl's butt but in the end all was fine as the biggest diff in their policies was whether they would allow the press to ask questions.
Check out Mr. C.'s complete Canadian wrestler get-up....winter boots, scarf, kilt. We're not sure if he wears Stanfield tighty-whities under his like Steve does, in fact there's the sneaking suspicion it's a Speedo.
July 18, 2006
The Light Clicks On for Harper
Seen here in a Newbies training session, Harper exclaimed, "OH I GET IT!!!! We say one thing to the world then can go back home and say anything we want to. This is great , guys, especially because the world doesn't check in on Canadian Press! Har har heeya'.
OH NO! Reflection of Harper's Reality?
Egads! Harper at the Stampede. Looks like his insecurity team is reflecting the 'STATE' of the world. Come on, it's not just armed forces guys on pass, out having fun who 'just happen' to run into Steve and have a chat.
And who's the guy in the fringe jacket...his press security, i mean secretary?
I've got it! Harper's new lofty weight is due to a bulky flak-jacket, mais non? He's wearing it upside down.
If he wants William Shatner's number to get one the Star Trek girdles, it's 555-0666.
Personally, I'm into the shops tomorrow to get my nifty camoflauge and cowboy hat. WOW, the fashion statement is so, so, so neo-con!
July 17, 2006
It's a Wrap!
Yes, they're certainly Gr8! Stephen Steve Stepan's official media report varifies that they were successful in addressing issues in THEIR world.
July 16, 2006
Check and Compare
Blair Calls Stephen 'Stephen'
In what is now unprecedented protocol, England's Prime Mordial, Tony Blair, called Canaduh's PM, 'Stephen'. An Anxious Reid poll showed most Canadians were shocked and dismayed at the blatant name calling, but Heir Harper's mother was pleased.
Stephen gave Tony real, genuine Canukian earmuffs as a thoughtful gesture. Tony, along with many Brits, suffers from 'Prince Chuck Syndrome'. The two discussed such important topics as Stephen wanting to drop the letter 'U' from Canadian spelling, something Blair has been considering himself since he fell in love with President Bush. The two consider excess use of vowels as energy waste. Blair was also inquistive about the Canadian Beaver but Harper insisted he didn't know much about wildlife back home. Wife Boreen smiled.
Tea and crumpets were had at Number Ten Downing before the two snuck off on their own to Soho.
July 15, 2006
Putin Calls Steve 'Stepan'
Besides acting as friendly competitors the two discussed hockey, with Putin gently telling Harper to puck-off after Stepan's 'friendly competitor' jibes about Russia's poor environmental track record to Gr8 leaders.
Harper gave Putin some Canadian Club and Labatt's Blue as a present, as well as a maple syrup bottle filled with tar sands oil.
I'm sure Vladimir (meaning "the owner of the world") and Stepan (diadem= royal power or dignity) will enjoy many more great antics and follies as they both vie for number one rapers of their country's resources to sell to the other Gr8 nations. Canada, lay down and spread 'em!
It is not known at this time whether Mommy Harper objects to Stephan being called Stepan.
July 14, 2006
It's a Smelly World
GAWD: I've had enough of you major religions who pretend to worship me. Quit your fucking warring (damn, I swore again, the angels and Moses will be after me!).
Hey, pull my finger!
My best advise: take two stone tablets and call me in the morning.
July 13, 2006
He's a Mild and Crazy Guy !!!
Yes, it's Gr8 Slumpit time in St. Petersburg! Human Rights are not on the Agenda, but then the Right has no humans. Stepford Steve also stops in England to meet Tonybalongna and the Queen's Corgies. Then it's Rive Droite time in France. Jacques Chirac Legomaniac is expected to poo-poo Big Steve about the Kyoto Protocol, but with his pups swinging, expect that certain je ne sais quoi attitude (U.S. version= patriot certain something ).
Have fun, Steve and Boreen, and don't forget to send boastcards!!!
July 12, 2006
Cowballs and Injuns
How interesting that the AFN elections came during Calgary Stampede time. Incumbent Chief (oh that German word!) Phil Fontaine creamed sole contender Bob Wilson in an interesting show that saw Wilson's campaign run by, yes, CONSERVATIVES!!! (alert from The Gazeteer). Wilson's consession speech was , er, interesting. (exerts).
Meantime whiile Steve was doing the rounds at the Stampede, Stephen's mother quipped that she'll be writing a note to President Bush not to call Stephen 'Steve'. This should be a post all on it's own!!!
While Fontaine helped bring in the Kelowna Accord, which Steve ripped up, Fontaine was also instrumental in getting the Residential School deal signed (even though the Chinese head-tax and Japanese internment camp families will realize more out of their package), he hasn't always been the biggest champion of indigenous rights. It would have been nice to see Roberta Jamieson run again.
We'll see how Fontaine and Harper square off during 'Harper's Last Stand', Playing in political arenas soon!
It's Not The Size...
Funny, he didn't mention anything about Isreali-made weapons sold to mid-eastern countries being used AGAINST Israel, or the Patriot missile scam when Isreal bought a bunch of the faulty weapons from the U.S. , based on a video sales tape, or Israel's U.N. Security breaches. Ah well, there's more important stuff, right?
It's raining, I haven't finished my morning coffee, google the info yourself.
July 11, 2006
It Only Gets Worse....group photo of cabinet
Horseshoe Up Bum
What's with some people? CTV and BBC did stories on this Canadian guy who started with a giant paperclip and kept trading it until he was given a house.
I tried, starting with these funky glasses that need no prescription, and ended up with this dwelling. geeeeeeze!
July 10, 2006
Liberated from the Georgia Straight
Heir Harper's Cabineto, in order of precedence, according the Governenment of Canaduh Website:
The Right-Wing Honourary Prime Mordial Steve Harping
Rob-us Nicklesanddimes, Leader of the Goverment in the House of We Don't Want Commoners, Minister for Democratic REFORM Party
July 09, 2006
David Emissary, Minister of International Sell-out
Pepe Le Pu Blackburnt, Minister of False Labour
Gregorious Thompson, Minister of Veteranarians Affairs
Marjory Morningstar LeBreton, Leader of the Government in the Senior's Home
Monte Soldierberg, Minister of non-Canadian Born People