Harper Valley

HARPER VALLEY HAS MOVED!!! please go to http://harpervalley.wordpress.com

2006-10-29T06:50:00.002-08:00

Harper Valley*NOTE: YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT A REAL EMAIL ADDRESS TO COMMENT AT WORDPRESS....a@b.com WILL DO. IT'S EASY TO COMMENT AND THERE'S NO 'WORD VERIFICATION'. YOUR BROWSER WILL REMEMBER YOUR INFO FOR NEXT TIME, JUST TYPE IN THE FIRST LETTER OF YOUR NAME AND ADDY, AND VOILA!!!For those who have linked me I'd really appreciate you going into your temple, er, i mean template and adjusting

It's Sunday!!!! Crystal Methodist's Sermon for the day...

2006-10-28T22:19:00.000-07:00

"Ha Hoo! Time for some teachings from Crystal. Mr. MacKay, this one's for you - as I was collecting flowers for today , who did I spy coming out from the Widow Cranston's house? Yes, a certain Mr. M. looking rather dishevelled. Naughty boy, if you could put as much in the collection plate as you paid her I promise not to tell!From Steve 11:59, 'And ye shall not enter the home of a tart, for

Iggy Poop - Just say 'NO'!

2006-10-28T01:53:00.002-07:00

Michael Ignaetiff...just say 'no'! He's a pop-star, or is that poop-star? He keeps pooping on us from his loft , talking about this and that, changing his mind, but not bothering to change his shorts. He's bent on causing 'Trudeau Mania' in his guise. Everything's all about Michael. He talks in circles then circles his talks and is nothing short of being 'John Kerry North'. Academia is

Wear a Red Burka Friday

2006-10-27T10:13:00.000-07:00

Graphic from The Tennesee Guerilla Women, 'Challenging the conservative politics of sexism, homophobia, racism and classism . . . A progressive internet-based organization of politically active women (and extraordinary men) united to fight the radical right in Tennessee and the nation.

CBC, CTV, National Post and Globe and Mail all say number one Best Blog is Harper Valley

2006-10-27T02:09:00.000-07:00

Four major Canadian news sources all voted the Harper Valley Blogspot as the winner of the coveted "Golden Keyboard' award for 2006. Site creator, Scout Vagabond, was not present at the awards ceremony, citing something about The Sally Ann as having been cleaned out of clothes for halloween, especially formal dresses.When I awoke from that nightmare I was sweating profusely. Egads, I'd been

U.S. Soldiers Speaking Out Against War, Some Refusing to Fight

2006-10-26T19:05:00.000-07:00

Via Mother Jones comes this Reuters report that some U.S. soldiers are protesting Iraq, and some refusing to fight.. Gee, wonder why? Ma Jones also reports on an ex-marine who heads up the Veterans Against Iraq', a group that is growing in numbers. Gee, wonder why?I'm sure Georgie-boy will shut down a soldier's right to speak up soon. Perhaps he'll issue duct tape left over from the 911

Here's Our Fucker So Far...

2006-10-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

Rasta Steve with stubble is the winner of how you'd like our fucker to look. Now for suggestions on attire, piercings, tats, etc.......just comment away and I'll take whats offered and see what I can do. This is where the voting ends and I'll select things according to what's available on google images and what I'm capable of in photoshop. Oh boy, can't wait to see the end result of rapist at

ZirCON?

2006-10-24T16:20:00.000-07:00

The King and Queen of Sweden visited the Harpers today. The Harperinni's gave the Swedish pair a real, genuine zirCON. The Swedes looked, er, thrilled. Do you think the Harper's are cheap? Let's look at their gift list to date:George - Belt buckle, cufflinks, cowboy hatG8 leaders - mini bottles of maple syrup, Celine Dion CD, 8 ounce pack of smoked salmonTony Blari - Walmart t-shirt saying '

My Exciting Day

2006-10-23T23:57:00.000-07:00

So I've shortened the oringinal post...sue me. I checked in on Alison's blog at Creekside. There, in full blown black and white was her post on the B&P debacle. Not to take away from Alison's good post, but some of the comments enraged me to the far ends of this flat earth (you non-bipolars probably think it's round...hah!). There was a lot of good barf reflex comments supporting

The man who fucks us all....Rasta Steve

2006-10-22T18:00:00.000-07:00

OK, in between blowing my nose and helping to outift the landlord's kids for halloween, i came up with the following roughs (and boy are some rought!!!). The question is, do you want blue eyed, bare faced rasta surfing steve, or a facial hair version? vote in the poll and if you choose 'other' please leave a comment as to what you'd like:Should Rasta

And the Winner is....RASTA STEVE!

2006-10-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

Rasta Steve beats out Aryan Ken Doll by only a few votes, as the man who is fucking us all. Now, do we want him with stubble, a beard, moustache, goatee........i'll do the images as the day goes by then create a poll (as fast as my dripping nose will allow and inbetween helping the landlord's kids witih their haloween costumes).

Deep Desecration

2006-10-21T23:57:00.000-07:00

Deep Integration? Why those cheeky corporations and politicians! Here I thought they were attempting to move to a more romantic setting before they fucked us and maybe even let us have some pleasure along the way instead of the virtual gang bang it's become. Imagine Bush, Harper and Fox (then his little predesseser calderon) coming into your bedroom and plying you with their corporate buddies

Kim Jong Sings 'I'm Sorry'

2006-10-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

North Korea bad boy Kim Jong has expressed regret over testing nukes. The little guy immediatley hit the recording studios and sang his rendition of Brenda Lee's big time hit.I'm sorry, so sorryThat I was such a foolI didn't knowSanctions could be so cruelOh, oh oh oh,Uh-ohOh, yes.You tell me mistakesAre part of being NapoleanBut that don't right The wrong that's done(spoken)(I'm sorry) I'm

Famous Stupid People #12

2006-10-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

EVERYONE LOVES A PARADE AND THEY'LL BE ONE SOMEWHERE FOR THE ANON who correctly guessed Augusto Pinochet. Heh, I bet Sheena's cursing as I'm sure her 'is he still active politically' question gave it away.*A few posts down, "How do you want Harper to Look?', Rasta Steve and Aryian Ken Doll Steve are running neck in neck. You can vote more then once, so go for it and I'll close the results over

Harper: Off With Garth Turner's Head

2006-10-18T20:15:00.000-07:00

It's the talk of Blogtown...Harper removing MP Garth Turner from Caucus for 'breech of confidence' over his blogspot. We all know, 'ya right', more like the outspoken Turner didn't jive with Harper's tune, so the dance hall bouncers were bound to come out at any time. The Reform Party just doesn't like the real Conservatives, let's face it. But they've had to deal with the Lebanon evac and

If Only They Were Normal #11- Laura Bush and Laureen Harper

2006-10-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

Imagine being married to George Walker or Stephen Joseph. No thanks!!! If their wives were normal they would have left their sociopathic mates by now or at LEAST had an affair to comfort each other's living with emotionless, incompassionate guys. Let's let the fly on the wall listen in:Laura It's o.k. sugar, Mamma's gonna make everything alright for pretty little Laureen.Laureen OH Laura, I

Steve's Makeover - final on hairdo

2006-10-16T21:03:00.000-07:00

A few posts back the poll narrowed Steve's hairdo down to 'rasta' as the main, with 'other' following. Two of the 'others' were Sheena Vision's Ken Doll so I did an Aryan version, and YaYa Canada's suggestion of 'bullet steve' which comes via Canada Today (interesting site!!!). Take a close gander at this pic, it's steve's hair and clothes made of bullets...really well done!Now it's time for

McHale's Navy Flops! Sitcom Cancelled

2006-10-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

The blubbering Gary McHale who headed the 'peace march' at Caledonia on Sunday attended with a dingy full of supporters rather than the ship he was hoping for. PLUS, as Amelopsis speculates in the post below, MCHALE MAY HAVE BAILED EARLY!!!!! Guess that's what happens when you have a leaky boat. Ships Ahoy, McHale, your starboard is listing and your hull is covered with barnacles. This '

Scary McHale's Heritage

2006-10-15T15:17:00.000-07:00

Scary McHale , who lives 100 km's away from Caledonia, had organized a 'peaceful' protest march onto Six Nation's land at the reclaimed Douglas Estate's land. He thought 20,000 people would participate but only 1,000 did. CBC reports only one person was arrested as many crossed the 'buffer zone'. Meantime Clan Mothers calmly held a potluck gathering.Harper Valley had the opportunity to

Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist

2006-10-15T00:25:00.000-07:00

Ha Hoo! Parishiners, oh parishoners!Before you leave Jack Lord's house, remember to put a few extra alms in the plate! I'm watching and you wouldn't want me to tell stories about you now, you naughty people you!A quick note from Luke Warm, 10:23:04 - 'Yay though I walk through the Valley of Six Nation's death I shall fear no evil for I am an Aryan sent on mission impossible from Steve Harper's

Prayer Time !

2006-10-13T21:34:00.000-07:00

Your thoughts, prayers, meditation (whatever method you use) are needed this weekend for Six Nations on Sunday, October 15th. This is the day non-native protesters are holding a 'peaceful' march onto the Douglas Creek Estates (Haldiman tract) that 6N reclaimed in April. Peaceful? If peace were intended the protesters would march to the OPP office or the legislative grounds or parliament hill.

It's Steve 'Makeover' Time!

2006-10-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

If Steve is going to fuck us, the least he could do is have a makeover. Here's some samples, we'll start with the hair then move on to facial hair, piercings, tats, clothes etc..Vote in the poll how you'd like your rapist to look. If you click 'other' please leave a suggestion and I'll see what I can come up with. Remember, we're all being screwed over by the same guy, so let's get a composite

Can You Spell T.H.E.O.C.R.A.C.Y.?

2006-10-11T22:33:00.000-07:00

'Let Jesus Fuck You' is taking on whole new meanings these days as the CONfused goosestep their way to strip Canadian's of their rights. I don't have to post the links to gays, abortion, women, war, making us a target for the sake of 'protectionsim', and raping the environment, stepping on native rights, and of course, with that cross Steve's holding in his hand, the mention of 'deep

Steve Gets Strict

2006-10-10T23:10:00.000-07:00

Our boy Steve says he's getting strict when it comes to emission controls. Translated this means neo-cons will now wear gas masks while espousing their polluted, hot, yucky air , which will result in Kyoto standards being doubled in half the time. Brilliant!I can see Boreen now with goosebumps as she awaits a spanking from hubby dear. More neo-con sex images.....EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!*copy of '

Famous Stupid People #11

2006-10-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

THE REV from The Woodshed correctly guessed Donald Trump. Man, I think this was the fastest guess ever...shows to go ya when the right questions are asked. While I'm no longer sending out prizes, SURELY someone out there has a Donald Trump hairpiece to send Rev. I'm sure he'd cherish it. NOTE: I will no longer be offering a prize as I'm allergic to snail mail and have grouped prizes for past

"Take That, American Pig Dog!"

2006-10-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

Rumours of North Korea testing a nuclear bomb have surfaced. The U.S. , along with Russian, South Korea and Japan all say they detected seismalogial waves that indicate underground testing.We here at Harper Valley were given a different story from the North Korean government.

Crystal Methodist

2006-10-08T01:14:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday, meet Crystal Methodist, your Gal of Gawd who can help opiate the masses with sermons as ripe as the poppies growing in Afghanistan. Crystal's a bit of an enigma but we do know she's a spinster ever chasing the eligable bachelor, Theo Cracy, a church elder known for his savvy at getting parishoners to put a few extra fins and sawbucks into the collection plate.Crystal;s not ordained

If Only They Were Normal #10- Michael Ignatieff

2006-10-07T03:14:00.000-07:00

Liberal Leadership contenter Michael Ignatieff, if he were normal:"Yup. You'll get nothing but straight talk from me. I think we've had enough of politicians who can't shoot from the hip. No more fucking around with fancy-dancy intellectual bullshit and promises, this time it's going to be for the people and I don't want anyone knowing who my dad is, hear? That's got nothing to do with

Steve's Got Mail !!!

2006-10-06T22:40:00.000-07:00

Affter waiting at LEAST six months, Steve's 'Dublya Dublya Real Genuine Wrestling Belt' finally arrived. Did you ever see such a beaming kid? Ssshhhhh, don't tell his mom!All right, so it's a lousey photoshop....but look at the guy! We've got to dress him right. Outta the Tip Top Taylor suit and PLEASE...look at the collar on this guy!!!! FASHION CONSULTANTS PLEASE! Bruce, Q, Alison, Ross,

Rainbow Friday

2006-10-05T21:16:00.000-07:00

Hey, it's WEAR RAINBOW FRIDAY to support our LGBT Community!!!Harper: Wow, what a turnout! Brothers and sisters, I want to confess. I've had attractions to many men over the years, but, I married and keep to my vows. I did experiment a couple of time during University, and supported Mulroney's age of consent lowering to 14 in 1987. But that's besides the point because I wasn't in a position

Rona Ambrose Gets Starring Role

2006-10-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

Seen here with identical cousin Kirsty Alley, Rona Ambrose is set to study her script for a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds'. Rona's getting plenty of rehearsal time in, having been called forth by the Commons environment committee and questioned on the government's approach to the Kyoto accord. With Harper-approved script in hand, Rona's sure to 'wow' them.The Birds remake is going

The Clampetts Go North

2006-10-04T20:53:00.001-07:00

Jed That Steve fella seemed a might strange.Granny I'll say, I never did trust them thar ree-ligious types.Ellie May Shucks ya'll, they had so many cute critters. Those cats and rats were wonderful.Jed Hope Mr. Steve don't mind Duke eatin' a couple of them cats. Ya, Elli, I can see where a gal like yourself would like this Canada place. Now why did that Steve man want our opinion on deep

Doomsday Clock...what time is it, Mr. Wolfbush?

2006-10-03T22:19:00.000-07:00

With all the wars, Dubya gone nuts, deep integration and the stripping of individual rights, North Korea and it's supposed nuke bomb, Iran and it's, blah blah blah bbbbbbbbbbllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............I thought i'd check in on the Doomsday Clock to see how many minutes before midnight it's set at. The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists reports 7 minutes to

WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

The trumpets are sounding as Sheena of SheenaVision correctly guess Josef Stalin!!!!Congratulations, Ms. S., I'll get to your sidebar write-up later in the day.

Forever, Ever, Hold Your banner High (high high!)

2006-10-02T23:59:00.000-07:00

They're pulling coup's everywhere! Congratulations, Steve, on your new banner that includes the logo of you church The Christian and Missionary Alliance In Canada. Can't wait to check the mail to see if my t-shirt with banner and built in chip has arrived! Oh boy!

Party Boy Priests!!!

2006-10-02T10:33:00.000-07:00

Oh those wacko priests! These two Miami jokers have been accused of stealing $8 mill from the coffers over the years and blowing it on women, parties, the high falutin' life. Gives a whole new meaning to 'Miami Vice'. I guess it's hard to keep your hands out of the collection plate when wine, women and song await you. It's rumoured The Flying Nun blew the whistle on them and their tracks

Baskets and Blue Cohosh - a Tribute to Warrior Women

2006-10-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

The other day I was at a woman's on a reservation in B.C.. She was showing me her basket collection, most of which came from an elderly white woman who's grandmother had it. Before the elderly woman died she wanted to pass the baskets on to their rightful owner, the great-grandaughter of the well noted native woman who made the beautiful woven carriers. I held them and the strength that each

They're Up Our Butts....The SupposiTORY

2006-09-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

YOU write the story on this!!!

Famous Stupid People #10

2006-09-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

This one's a boy!!! Rules on the sidebar.Winner of #9 is JJ of Unrepentant Old Hippie

Liberal's Get a New Fence

2006-09-30T10:54:00.000-07:00

While the federal Liberals choose delegates this weekend, they've also unveiled their new fence to sit on. The good old white picket has that family feel and ensures a nice sensation up the butt while waffling. Comes with free K-Y lotion.

Con Artist

2006-09-29T00:02:00.000-07:00

Stephan Harper painting his picture of the world.

HAPPY BLOGGIVERSARY , BRUCE!!!

2006-09-28T23:31:00.000-07:00

The candles are a lit and my dog is wondering why. Bruce at Canuk Attitude has now been blogging for two years!!! Congrats Bruce, I enjoy your site for your honest perspective of gay life and how the politics and attitudes today can affect the lives and emotions of the LGBT community. Other topics are included. Intelligent, feeling, and a good dose of reflection and light hearted humour

Stephen Harper needs Avian Flu Shot

2006-09-28T16:16:00.000-07:00

In their meeting yesterday, Romanian President Traian Băsescu flashed the peace sign and Stephen Harper flipped the bird. Romanian officials are now holding Steve in quarantine until Avian flu vaccines arrive in the country to inocculate the PM. Officials say not to worry, the shots should arrive in 2010.OK, now that I woke up out of that dream, time to get on with some work. I'm workin'

Famous Stupid People #9

2006-09-27T22:04:00.000-07:00

THE HORNS ARE SOUNDING AS JJ OF Unrepentant Old Hippie correctly guessed THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!!!!!!!

Smudge Break

2006-09-25T22:47:00.000-07:00

No text necessary. See ya in a few days.

Meet Montreal Simon

2006-09-25T10:49:00.000-07:00

Check out Montreal Simon for some great insight, humour and bashing of the 'theocons'. Simon's latest post "Harper's Theoccons and the Doggy's Asshole" is about the sicko church the Harper's attend . Meantime The Galloping Beaver has a good one on "The Rise of the Christian Right in Harper's Canada".Both are good articles but you may need a double lined barf bag. RUMOUR, RUMOUR!!! Havril of '

Love Means Never Having To Say You're a Tory

2006-09-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

While Maher Arar is still waiting for an apology and compensation from the government, Steve and Boreen would like to make one thing perfectly clear: Love Means Never Having To Say You're a Tory.The First Lady of Canada stresses that the Harpers are all about unconditional love. "There's no need for words from Stephie. Mr. Arar should just know in his heart we love him". Harper concurred,

Naked Friday

2006-09-24T06:17:00.000-07:00

Thousands gathered Friday on Parliament Hill for NAKED FRIDAY to show support for Canadian Troops. Originally billed as "Wear Red Friday", Canadians decided the symbolic wearing of red was being exploited by the CONvalescents and instead chose to wear nothing. Said Harry Balls, "It's going to get cold soon but shrinkage isn't going to hold me back from attending future rallies". Sporting a red

Precedent Setting Case Won For Australian Indigenous People

2006-09-23T21:51:00.000-07:00

Mighty clan mother Kahentintha Horn of Six Nations reports that a precedent setting case in Australia gives way for indigenous people. The report also gives a harsh peak at the realities of the D.I.A. and it's 'War Room'. Bush:Howard, you snivellin' heifer, how'd ya let that happen?Howard:Snivel, snivelBush:Steve, you ever handled one of these long guns before?Harper:Why, ah, no Sir. But I can

Meet Harper's Speech Writer!

2006-09-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

Her name is Polly and she's been on the job since the beginning. Polly works for crackers, swears like a sailor and needs a lot of attention, but man she's good at getting Bush's words into Harper's speeches!!! It does take a little extra to have an editor delete the 'squawks' and expletives but it's saving The New Government tons of dough to go towards the Messing with Psyches...er, I mean,

Major Labia

2006-09-22T20:57:00.000-07:00

There's been some mention lately by visitors here like Jeff of African Perspective and Cheez of Neuronic that we need people with ovaries as leaders. I agree, as long as they are not sacrificial lambs of 'the good old boys'. While I don't believe in party politics, one woman I admire the heck out of is B.C.'s NDP leader Carole James. Grounded, salt of the earth, not afraid to admit to error,

And Suckers We Is

2006-09-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

Afghani President Hamid Karzai thanked Canada for it's Sucker Bucks as the numero uno country supporting the whateveritis that's going on over there. Bodies and bucks, we got 'em for you at lo, lo discounted prices! Get placed as a puppet, DON'T form your own army, call 1-800-CanukerSucker and have fun doing whatever it is you're doing. Wearing a poppy this Remberance Day will take on a whole

Rope the Dope - Chavez Vs. Bush

2006-09-21T19:57:00.000-07:00

It's a left uppercut to the jaw, a jab to the eye, and Hugo keeps punching on target to the devil himself, Doublya. We're waiting for the TKO in the third round, somehow Bush's coach and trainers just don't have him prepped for this world bout....no wonder he won't go up against Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. If you recall the Iranian has challenged Bush to a debate but Bush will only do so with HIS

Ralph Klein - Good Boy Hands In letter of resignation

2006-09-20T17:49:00.000-07:00

What a good boy Ralphy is!!! He finally handed in his letter of resignation , and as he promised his wife, didn't do it before she made a presentation on Crystal Meth (one of Ralph's reported girlfriends). Now if only he could have contained the little devil within when he tossed coins on the ground to the homeless, cut back a myriad of social programs, violated native rights (plus Ralphy had a

Famous Stupid People #8 - RECAP

2006-09-20T15:57:00.000-07:00

AWOOGA, AWOOGA, WE HAVE A WINNER!RON GOOD OF Northern Subverbia guessed Cuba's Fulgencio Batista.NO HE IS NOT PETER MACKAYNO HE IS NOT DONALD RUMSFELDNO HE IS NOT PRINCE CHARLESNO HE IS NOT POPE RATZASSNO HE IS NOT JOE VOLPENO HE IS NOT MUSHARRAFNO HE IS NOT JACOB ZUMANO HE IS NOT MIKE HARRISNO HE IS NOT KOIZUMINO HE IS NOT JOHN HOWARDNO HE IS NOT NASRALLAHNO HE IS NOT DON CHIPPNO HE IS NOT

From The Kalamalka Rainbow

2006-09-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

BC Waterboy, a frequent commentor here, has a post up on his site The Kalamalka Rainbow about a complaint being filed against Dr. Joseph Berger, a Toronto Psychiatrist and member of NARTH's "scientific advisory committee. Please go to Waterboy's site, have a good but disgusting read, and send in a complaint!!!! Supporting our LGBT brothers and sisters right now is of utmost importance.

I Want My, I Want My Bush T.V.

2006-09-19T13:27:00.000-07:00

Steve's humming tunes to himself again as he watches Georgie address the United Nations.Now look at them yo-yos, that's the way they do itThey play the Con on Bush-TVThat ain't workin', that's the way they do itMoney for nothin and Real Women are freeNow that ain't workin', that's the way they do itLemme tell ya, them guys aren't dumbMaybe get a blister on their middle fingerMaybe get a blister

If Only The Were Normal #9 - Donald Rumsfeld & Kim Jong ll

2006-09-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

Donald Rumsfeld and Kim Jong ll are staging a 'Bed-In' to protest war and corruption. Rumsfeld: It's way sweet. We've booked the room and look forward to recording a song for peace.JONG: I love Donny. We come up with these brilliant ideas together. What we're doing is for the world and it's a sacrifice and statement.Rumsfed: Christ, ya know it ain't easy. Ya know the way things can be.

Letter Writing Time!!!

2006-09-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

A Six Nations Update from Hazel Hillis urging us to write to 'the powers that be' to put an end to the violence of some Caledonians against Six Nation's members, and to uphold Canadian law and turn the Haldiman Tract over. Batch emails and addresses can be found at letters. I know, I know, it's hard writing diplomatically to the bozos, but Hazel has included a sample letter.oops, the sample

Famous Stupid People #8

2006-09-16T17:54:00.000-07:00

This time it's a male. Please read the rules on the sidebar. Winner of Stupid People # 7 was Q of North of Center who guessed Allessandra Mussolini.

Caption This...

2006-09-16T00:16:00.000-07:00

Peter and Condi...or is that Petunia and Conrad? Excuse me while I gender bend the two high school team captains, but with their 'barf, gag, wretch' ,innuendo this week churning stomaches the world over (a good cleanse now and then is necessary but this was unwarranted purge) were having a tough time digesting the tabloid propoganda. Did David Frum write their script???I leave it to you to

Of Vampires and 'The System'

2006-09-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

The Dawson College shootings, MacKay and Condi allude to an affair...which is more insane? The oft quoted, 'Insanity is a sane reaction to an insane world' has taken on new meaning in this day and age. MacKay, trying to prove the Harper government isn't racist by hinting to an affair with a brown-skinned person? Condi, selling yourself out again both as an Afro-American and woman? Kimveer

Marathon Scout - Eeze eet Rrright?

2006-09-14T18:04:00.000-07:00

Marathon Man was a movie starring Dustin Hoffman as a university student and marathon runner who ends up being chased down by a rendition of the infamous Nazi Dr. Joseph Megele (Sir Laurence Olivier). Mengele was noted for his torture of jews through medicine and dentistry. I go to the dentist tomorrow for a tooth extraction. My regular dentist won't do them and I don't blame her. Ya got to

YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-13T06:21:00.000-07:00

Finally!!!!! I sent away an ad from the back of a comic book for my 'focus on the shamily' official recognition and my official certificate arrived yesterday. I am overjoyed! I scanned it and it's available for me to post on this site as an icon link.I had to ask my mom for permission, pay $25,000 (slapped it on my husband's credit card cuz that's what real women do), and anwer a series of

Nightmare on Pennsylvania Ave. and Front St. - 25 years after 911

2006-09-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! WAKE ME UP, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Showing Their True Colours (or lack of tolerance for others)

2006-09-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

With my new Focus on Family Certification (seal of approval logo to be posted soon), I thought it would be fun to visit the good folks over at Caledonia Wake Up Call. They're a fine bunch of upstanding citizens who've taken upon themselves to group and lobby government to defeat those, those, terrorist redskin mohawks. These screenshots will save you the trouble of giving them more hit counts,

Ever Notice...

2006-09-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

Here's Steve and Gordo after the $55 million 'Softwood lumber shutup Olympic deal'. Ever notice Steve's morphing?

Stupid Famous People #7

2006-09-09T02:19:00.000-07:00

Fanfare, fanfare!! For the second time in a row the mighty Q of North of Center guessed the Famous Stupid Person!!!This time it was Alessandra Mussolini

911 - Avoiding the Hoopla

2006-09-08T09:31:00.000-07:00

From: obl@superdisguise.comSubject: 'You Know What'Date: September 11, 2006 5:45:13 AM PDT (US)To: dubya@secretaddress.comGeorge you're late! Quit rubbing the chick's shoulders and get over here.Thats not true my mother was in the navy ;-POBLFrom: dubya@secretaddress.comSubject: 'You Know What'Date: September 11, 2006 5:45:13 AM PDT (US)To: obl@superdisquise.comOsama, regualar time and

Video Kids at War

2006-09-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

Raised on Gameboy, X-Box and the countless video games offered at arcade shops, airports, and on the computer, today's soldier has twitching thumbs ready to grab the joystick and push the button that annihaltes the enemy. Add a strong dose of fear, drugs and steroids and it's no wonder numbed-out kids are pushing the buttons at anything they see. Put them in a jet high above the reality of

Stephen Harper Admits Tunnel runs from 24 Sussex to Stornoway

2006-09-06T14:26:00.000-07:00

President Bush has finally admitted secret CIA prisons house alleged terrorists.Amongst the fray is 24 Sussex and the official opposition leader's house, Stornoway. While Stephen Harper admits an underground tunnel links the two, he said it was designed because his children like to play 'Dungeons and Dragons', and was paid for out of his own pocket. Meantime all liberal leadership contenders

I've been tagged now my arm hurts!!!

2006-09-05T22:21:00.000-07:00

OH NO!!!!! i've been tagged by The Rev at The Woodshed!!!!this means i have to list a bunch of fave books etc. i'm bipolar and symptoms have worsened with age. one of them is reading concentration. i've accepted this but it was difficult for many years as i was the type who used to have 3 or 4 books on the go at a time. it's been a decade since i haven't been able to read much. i do get

Famous Stupid People Winner!!!!

2006-09-05T19:36:00.000-07:00

The whistles are blowing and the sirens screaming......Q of North of Center guessed new Mexican slime, er I mean President Elect Felipe Calderon.Please see the sidebar for a blurb on Q's site, and Q, email me scout_vagabond@yahoo.ca with your address so I can send you a stupid prize (what size is your cat's head?).

Pesky Injuns at it Again

2006-09-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

Clan Mother Kahentinetha Horn writes We Are Still Here, Ever Wonder Why?"This called for an emergency meeting between Prime Minister Harper and President Bush.Harper: Geor...I mean, Mr. President, those pesky injuns are giving me the creeps with their survival abilitiesBush: Steve, ya gotta work hard. We're working hard. Don't worry, stay in the mid-east, we'll get the drugs onto the rez as

Wikipedia Woes

2006-09-04T22:32:00.000-07:00

Post your email a couple of times and you get some interesting news. Wikipedia's 'Stephen Harper' and 'Politics of Canada' pages has had someone include a humour category with this site and others added onto them. Then they were deleted, re-posted and I understand the wrangling continues. PLUS the person's account was hacked and password changed so a new account had to be created.Reasons for

Crocodile Hunter and Crocodile Tears

2006-09-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

Today's news: Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin dies from a stingray attack........More Canadian troops in Afghanistan die, Jack Layton calls again for withdrawl, Stephen Harper says he is deeply saddened by the deaths.Steve! Those are crocodile tears you're shedding from that onion in your hand...nice touch. If you really cared you'd take Layton's advise. Crikey!

Official Congrats From Harper

2006-09-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

29 years ago today we were a couple of kids thinking we would be together forever. Today we're still kids at heart (well I am, Mr. Scout seems to have a knack for maturity, I think he was born with a full set of teeth or something) and it still looks like we'll be together forever. I know, 29 years plus three years living together first is a long time but we like to buck trends). We received

Snakes in the Tobacco Field

2006-09-02T14:00:00.000-07:00

Six Nation Clan Mother Kahentinetha Horn has pegged politicians right when she compares them to snakes. In her latest article 'Economic Pythons' she reports that there have been arrests of indigenous people for carrying tobacco from one indigenous community to another (perfectly legal).With viper orders from above it's no wonder Harper is famous for his HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSY FITS. Such a

Famous Stupid People # 6

2006-09-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

Wow, #6 already.....this time it's a male. good luck, let the Jeopardy music begin!!!

The 5 Ring Circus - or - How to Sell Out for $55 Mill

2006-08-31T10:16:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, step right up to one of the biggest larks in Canada! You've read about it on blogs, alt news and msm! The one, the only, non-bearded B.C. Premier of the Gordon Campbell Show gave way to his hard stance on the Softwood Lumber Deal! In steps the Flattest Man in the World, Steve Harper with $55 million to the Olympic Games!!!2+2=???Ringling have announced The Olympic Summer

Famous Stupid People # 5, continued

2006-08-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

DING DING DING, WE HAVE A WINNER, WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!Bazz of Oi ! Thump !guessed 'hollywood actress declares herself a right wing bigot':Jane Russell. i'm baffled, i'm puzzled, i'm shocked, i was prepared for this to go on for a while (hmm, bazz, did you sneak in and read my bookmarks, or did you hit a celebrity web site....aha, maybe a google thing!!!!).

Hosers, Eh?

2006-08-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

Steve and his Con-Air Team prep to douse the heat the 40th Parliament session will bring this Fall. Armed with their little hoses, we can expect the Cons to wet their Stanfields as the majority opposition throw plenty of softwood logs on the fire. I'm sure their 'Real Women Squeezes' will be on hand with coffee, snacks, and HERo sandwiches.

HAPPY BLOGIVESSARY, KALAMALKA RAINBOW

2006-08-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

The Kalamalka Rainbow is one year old. Stop by and congratulate BC Waterboy!

Gordscilla, Queen of the Desert

2006-08-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

Imagine! Putting retired Brigadier General and Minister of Defence, Gordon O'Connor in ordinary cotton/poly camoflauge for his trip to visit troops in Afghanistan!!!!! NO NO NO!!! Gordy wants to entertain the troops a la Priscilla. Steve-Joe gave the suggestion, Gordscilla went as bananas as Carman Miranda's headress, but then they outfitted him in baggy desert camo! No wonder he looked so

What the Hell is Friendly Fire???

2006-08-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

"Discrepancies emerge in Cdn. 'friendly fire' probe"Seems some Canuks in Afghanistan got a bit carried away. Paranoia? Orders from the top? Drugs? Traumatic affect? All the above?AND WHAT THE HELL IS FRIENDLY FIRE??????? 'Here, you're my friend, bang!' ?. 'Just thought I'd send you to a better place', 'I hear you haven't been feeling well, POW!', 'What are buddies for, KAPOW!', 'Just

If Only They Were Normal - #9 - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

2006-08-28T00:11:00.000-07:00

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran has beefed up nuclear weapon capability with the operation of a heavy water plant.If he were normal:"These war pigs suck ass. The dark lizards won't reign anymore, I'll play until every last weapon is sent back to hell and the doomsday clock is set to one minute to peace. I'm gonna move the groove of the Mid-East jam up a notch and make it a battle of the

Con Solution To Poverty

2006-08-26T08:36:00.000-07:00

While Canada's surplus is up, poverty levels are rising, which the National Council on Welfare calls 'morally disgraceful'.The Con solution?Harper: Hello rich child. Now, remember to pray for the needy while you're eating.

Mwa Ha Ha

2006-08-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

Warren Ellis has a great scheme on his site on how to screw anti-gay Christians in the pocketbookHow To Screw Some Evangelist Maaggots Right in the Wallet. He's layed out a step by step guide to securing freebies from 'Focus on Family', items that are intended for auction :). Just do it!

Stupid Famous People #5

2006-08-25T07:29:00.000-07:00

This time it's a female.Congrats to BCWaterboy of The Kalamalka Rainbow for guessing Michael Chertoff (see sidebar for a blurb on The Kalamalka).

CORPulent Con

2006-08-25T01:05:00.000-07:00

Harper: Two things.RCMP: Yes Sir?Harper: First there's a brown-skinned, Canadian-born man wearing a turban to our left of the center guy.RCMP: Yes Sir?Harper: Fire him. Second thing.RCMP: Yes Sir?Harper: Does horse meat taste good?

Mike Harris Ipper-try-to-wash-your-hands

2006-08-24T22:07:00.000-07:00

The Ipperwash Inquiry investigating the shooting death of Dudley George in 1995 by an Ontario Provincial Police officer has wrapped up and a decision will be made by the end of the year. The focus of the inquiry was whether former Ontario Premier Mike Harris infuenced the OPP to at the standoff to remove protestors.Aboriginal lawyers cited Harris as lying 17 times about a meeting that took place

Hockey Trading - Oilers Go For Power Play

2006-08-22T10:47:00.000-07:00

The Edmonton Oilers and it's farm league, The Tamil Tigers, are upset over recent allegations of weapons trading. U.S. government agents arrested several Canadians, accusing them of trying to purchase missiles for the Tigers.An anonymous Edmonton Oiler said, "Man did they get this one wrong! All we were trying to do was get the new SA-18 hockey stick to our farm team so they'd have the right

Blog Around the Clock...Circadian Rhythms

2006-08-21T22:47:00.000-07:00

What, no photoshpped pic? Nope, no time!!!!I went to physio today and she asked me how I was sleeping. I told her not well and that my circadian clock must be off (thought i was a bigshot saying that). She asked me my habits before bedtime and i told her i was on the computer a few hours before hitting the hay. The phsyio said, nuh-uh, i have to get off the puter an hour before bedtime and

Famous Stupid People #4

2006-08-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

This time it's a male. Rules are on the sidebar.WE HAVE A WINNER!!! BCWaterboy of The Kalamalka Rainbow guess MICHAEL CHERTOFF. Please read Waterboy's bllurb on the sidebar and drop by his site.Congrats to Annamarie at Verbena-19 for guessing #3, Laureen Harper

If Only They Were Normal - #8 - Tony Blair

2006-08-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

In his youth Tony Blair modelled himself after Mick Jagger and was in a rock band called 'The Ugly Rumours'. How he got from that to the Bush-Loving, war-supporting asshole he is....well, maybe he was an asshole then, it kinda sounds like it from Wiki's report.If he were normal:"I've traded in the Flying V for an old Martin and I'm gearing up for the Mid-East Jam session. The Boss's new CD of

Osanta Bin Laden meets Harper in North

2006-08-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

During Steve-Joe's recent foray to the northern reaches of Canada to announce HIS nation asserting it's sovereign rights with armed forces, he met up with Osanta Bin Laden. Says Steve-Joe, 'Any friend of President Bush's is a friend of mine. If Osanta wants to put bombs in his Christmas presents for children , so be it. That will give us freer reign to detain brown-skinned and Canadian-born

NO!!!! Is Mainsteam Media FINALLY Getting It???

2006-08-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

For the first several months of the Six Nation reclamation at Caledonia there was a mainstream media blackout (oh dear me, we can't have corporate media upsetting Ward and June!!!). Now that the Clan Mothers have seized back their land that Ontario Hydro has illegally built windmills on, the media is slowly starting to understand. Natch the press will now be accused of 'going liberal' by the

Willy Wonka Wannabe???

2006-08-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

In a nice break from the doom and gloom, Auntie reports that a U.S. man fell into a vat of chocolate and got stuck. Ya got to love the BBC, they report that it was dark chocolate.

Famous Stupid People #3

2006-08-17T23:13:00.000-07:00

WE HAVE A WINNER!!! ANNAMARIE OF Verbena-19 correctly guessed LAUREEN HARPER, the little girl from Turner Valley. Ew, I just realized she attended the same Tech Insitute as me (though years later). I'm sure her coffee clatch thinks she's done well and is smart for marrying what Annamarie calls her 'chubby hubby'. But what happens when he joins the ranks of Joe Who, Kim Campbell, John Turner

Ottawa's AIDS/HIV Annoucement Leaked

2006-08-17T19:42:00.000-07:00

Those lovable, laudable NEO-CONtraries have been holding out on making an announcement on AIDS/HIV funding as the issue has 'become too politized'. However, my insider at Parliament Hill, Daddy Scout the janitor, faxed me a copy of Harper's proposed plan:"Our Government will be spending 1 million dollars to give away lapel ribbons on a cross. The best prevention and cure for AIDS/HIV is the