Harper Valley

Yes, our Men In Black have done it! Seen here at a secret location near the Six Nation's recent uprising, officers carefully examine evidence. An eagle feather contained in a lead-glass case is put through a radiation test. It's suspected Clan Mothers were waving the feathers in all-out nuked-raptor warfare against peace officers. Next in line is a smudge bowl, thought to contain agent-red, a substance similar to sage that can make a man think in terms of the circle of life (brain washing at it's best). A constable at the far right tests a giant wad of tobacco which could hold the powerful spirit of noted medicine woman, Annie Thrax.

The O.P.P. have cuffed and ball and chained an agitator wearing fierce war-paint. His name is being withheld, but it is now confirmed that the man was waving a pussywillow at the police. This tactic has been used in the past, whereby a savage injun will cause an officer setting foot on native territorial land to trip, stumble, and fall into the stick, causing an eye to be poked and inflamed.

No wonder our terrific police are only following orders and have attacked preemptively with guns, tear-gas, and full riot gear! Let's hope that if matters continue the Canadian Navy will send a land-sub in...after all, you never know what Mother Earth could retaliate with!