October 29, 2006

HARPER VALLEY HAS MOVED!!! please go to http://harpervalley.wordpress.com

Harper Valley
*NOTE: YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT A REAL EMAIL ADDRESS TO COMMENT AT WORDPRESS....a@b.com WILL DO. IT'S EASY TO COMMENT AND THERE'S NO 'WORD VERIFICATION'. YOUR BROWSER WILL REMEMBER YOUR INFO FOR NEXT TIME, JUST TYPE IN THE FIRST LETTER OF YOUR NAME AND ADDY, AND VOILA!!!

For those who have linked me I'd really appreciate you going into your temple, er, i mean template and adjusting your set. For those of you who haven't lined me, please do so and The Anon will gladlly write you a cheque for 5 Million!!!! 5 million what, I don't know...maybe 5 million ants or something.

Sorry for the inCONvenience but the frustrations of Blogspot become too much. It was nice having free, comfy space here though :)

October 28, 2006

It's Sunday!!!! Crystal Methodist's Sermon for the day...

"Ha Hoo! Time for some teachings from Crystal. Mr. MacKay, this one's for you - as I was collecting flowers for today , who did I spy coming out from the Widow Cranston's house? Yes, a certain Mr. M. looking rather dishevelled. Naughty boy, if you could put as much in the collection plate as you paid her I promise not to tell!

From Steve 11:59, 'And ye shall not enter the home of a tart, for they are the source of all evil, just as Adam knows. Forgeteth Lilith for too many want to change her status and make her seem good. Forgeteth Mary Magdeline's image as portrayed by The daVinci Code Unbroken. Jesus loves me, this I know, for the bible told me so. Little ones to me belong so I can convert them when they're not strong. Our Father , who farts in heaven, hallowed be thy dog.'.

Mr. M., oh Mr. M, are you listening???

Iggy Poop - Just say 'NO'!

Michael Ignaetiff...just say 'no'! He's a pop-star, or is that poop-star? He keeps pooping on us from his loft , talking about this and that, changing his mind, but not bothering to change his shorts. He's bent on causing 'Trudeau Mania' in his guise. Everything's all about Michael. He talks in circles then circles his talks and is nothing short of being 'John Kerry North'. Academia is touting him and proud of 'one of their own', blindly so. Am I being rough on this man? Darned rights, and here's why:

Philosophy is not enough to lead a country. One has to know how to implement vision and The Igster gives us nothing on that. In fact Ig, are you trying to give us anything, or just trying to take? Supporters laud his views on women's and aboriginal rights but go to his web site...where's the beef? I found nothing on aboriginal rights so emailed asking to be pointed out. Here's the response:
-----------------------------
There is no single section on Aboriginal issues; rather they are discussed in the sections on national unity, equality of opportunity, and citizen's rights.

If you have any further questions, feel free to write back.

All the best,
Sean Williamson
Campaign Michael Ignatieff Leadership Campaign
-----------------------------
I went to the sections listed and same as his other sections, you can view 5-10 second video clips of Iggy talking passionatley on Human Rights. The text waxes poetic about everyone deserving equality. Nothing specific, nothing but Iggy on Iggy. At best it's a an effort in masturbating for the public. Great, a potential Liberal leader, potential PM flogging the bishop and cream coating the country. A whole new form of white-washing.

At least Bob Rae, while a career politician, has some substance. His web site is topic specific and as far as aboriginal rights, he simply outlines bringing back the Kelowna Accord. Now Iggy, why couldn't you make iife as simple as that?

Iggy's written books. That's great, but what does that do for the average Canadian or underpriviledged or oppressed? Theory is theory, philosphy is philosophy...vision is vision and a doctorate, great, a wonderful accomplishment and it certainly served to boost his career , but what does it do for me or you??? Gold-leaf frame that piece of paper, Ig, your words are words, I want the beef! To date you've only given us veal from your sheltered life. Ain't it funny how a calf can be taken and raised inside all its life and presented at the super market as a soft, tender bit of eating? That's what we're getting. And on second thought, forget the beef, give me the moose! I want something raised in the wilds and as Canadian as can be. Iggy, you lived outside Canada for too long! Can you even say, 'Eh?'.

Why re-write Canada, Ig? I've read your drivvle in the media, you don't impress me. What every federal politician keeps forgetting is it's all laid out for us in the United Nation's Agenda 21 on Sustainabilty, which Canada ratified. A strong underlying theme of this is augmenting democracy. Another is aboriginal and women's rights. Get with it people, follow the plan and IMPLEMENT. What's vision without having the foundation and framework to bring it to fruition? NOTHING.

Harvard, eh? 'The Kennedy School of Thought'. Phi Beta Kappa. Great, you're part of Harv's equivalent of Yale's Skull and Crossbones. Just what we want. A closet case of same old, same old. Let's not deny it, Igster, one doesn't achieve a teaching position there without playing the game. This makes you 'John Kerry North'. Your flip flopping, especially on war, and support of 'lesser evils' that supports Bush tactics, shows you are nothing but veal. Who's backing you, Ig?

Bob Rae may not be the greatest, and the Kelowna Accord is not the be all and end all when it comes to aboriginal rights. And while Agenda 21 serves to bolster the indigenous cause, the U.N. is at odds with itself with it's recent declaration of 'keeping indigenous people's in their place under the disguise of recognizing oppression' b.s. , if you want 'lesser evils' then Rae is it.

Iggy, Iggy, Iggy, you change your mind more then you change your clothes. How or why some of the public is buying you is beyond me. Quebec sovereignty was not a strong issue until you decided to buy liberal votes there and poked the half-sleeping bear. You're a 'Great White Hope' and the overemphasis on education these days (all market driven but don't tell a die-hard acedemic that) places you as a true contender, save that you've hung yourself more then enough. Ex roommate Rae who's lineage isn't QUITE as impressive and education DOESN'T quite match yours will probably beat you out. At least Rae doesn't use who his father was in his campaign, get off the teat, Ig. But think how many books you'll have sold!!! Don't count me in as a customer.

Iggy website.
Rae website

Iggy Wiki.
Rae Wiki.

I'm Scouty-Pooping on ya for other links, just google his name. Heh heh, I'm not a politician :). WAIT, I relent and will pass you over to Pogge.

*NOTE I don't know what's wrong with Blogger this weekend, (errors in posting but it does, then I havent been able to delete multiple posts) but I'm working on switching over to Wordpress. Wordpress has an 'import feature' and sure enough all my posts were successfully transferred over. They do warn to BACKUP YOUR TEMPLATE and anything else as a precaution. Wordpress users report no or little downtime.

October 27, 2006

Wear a Red Burka Friday

Graphic from The Tennesee Guerilla Women, 'Challenging the conservative politics of sexism, homophobia, racism and classism . . . A progressive internet-based organization of politically active women (and extraordinary men) united to fight the radical right in Tennessee and the nation.

CBC, CTV, National Post and Globe and Mail all say number one Best Blog is Harper Valley




Four major Canadian news sources all voted the Harper Valley Blogspot as the winner of the coveted "Golden Keyboard' award for 2006. Site creator, Scout Vagabond, was not present at the awards ceremony, citing something about The Sally Ann as having been cleaned out of clothes for halloween, especially formal dresses.

When I awoke from that nightmare I was sweating profusely. Egads, I'd been posting serious commentary on world events and doing so through the lens of the Lloyd Robertson's of the world. How horrendous! In one part of the nightmare I was driving a higher end Toyota, complete with cell phone earpiece and Prada wardrobe. And it gets scarier! I was putting lipstick on at stop lights and hairspraying a lovely bufonte hairdo!!!

To make matters worse I pulled into underground parking at my condo and and entered the elevator with a double latte mocha cappucino espresso americano. There, right beside me, was a woman in a burka and darned if she didn't look like a dog!!!! I was really uncomfortable. Worse yet, it was friday and I had my red power blazer on and the coffee spilled on it when the elevator made a rude bump on the 21st floor. That was it, I was suuing! I mean, what if it had of spilled onto my pink razor phone???

Now you can see why I was sweating so hard. Now you can see why I posted this nightmare....hah heh heh, mwa hah hah, snortle, crackle, chuckle, grin.

*NOTE, great piece by Bruce at Canuk Attitude over the Vancouver Postal Workers walking out to refuse to deliver anti-gay hate literature.

October 26, 2006

U.S. Soldiers Speaking Out Against War, Some Refusing to Fight


Via Mother Jones comes this Reuters report that some U.S. soldiers are protesting Iraq, and some refusing to fight.. Gee, wonder why? Ma Jones also reports on an ex-marine who heads up the Veterans Against Iraq', a group that is growing in numbers. Gee, wonder why?

I'm sure Georgie-boy will shut down a soldier's right to speak up soon. Perhaps he'll issue duct tape left over from the 911 scares and throw some more $$$ 3M's way. Who owns 3M anyways? Must be a good cowpoke buddy. Oops, did I say cowPOKE? Ah well, beastiality is good for all the little mark of the Beasts running around in competition for the anti-christ job. Cheer up George, there's a heiffer waiting around the corner for ya.

*NOTE....via Robert at My Blahg comes notice of Ode to the Court Challenges program: the progressive poetry blogburst from Pogge. Pomes, poems, lymerics, hykus...as long as it mentiions the Court Challenges Program - ech, go read the rules yourself!!! There's some fun and serious stuff up there (yours truly went the serious route), but give it a whirl for 'the cause'.

October 25, 2006

Here's Our Fucker So Far...

Rasta Steve with stubble is the winner of how you'd like our fucker to look. Now for suggestions on attire, piercings, tats, etc.......just comment away and I'll take whats offered and see what I can do. This is where the voting ends and I'll select things according to what's available on google images and what I'm capable of in photoshop.

Oh boy, can't wait to see the end result of rapist at large, Steve-Joe Harper!

*NOTE....the PM had a photographer for the Rick Mercer show Harper taping FIRED because he had been critically outspoken of Harper. This via Joanne at Devil's Advocate . Talk about a sniveller!!!

ImageChef.com - Create custom images

October 24, 2006

ZirCON?

The King and Queen of Sweden visited the Harpers today. The Harperinni's gave the Swedish pair a real, genuine zirCON. The Swedes looked, er, thrilled. Do you think the Harper's are cheap? Let's look at their gift list to date:

George - Belt buckle, cufflinks, cowboy hat
G8 leaders - mini bottles of maple syrup, Celine Dion CD, 8 ounce pack of smoked salmon
Tony Blari - Walmart t-shirt saying 'I Love Canada', Laura Secord chocolates
Angela Merkel - Sear's lamp, 6 ounce pack mild Canadian Cheddar
Jaques Chirac - Broken hockey stick used by Wayne Gretski
Vladamir Putin - Broken hockey stick used by Wayne Gretski
Hamid Karzai - Toque and scarf (white with red maple leafs)

A spokesperson at the PM's office said they plan to beef up the gift-giving once Laureen's schedule settles down a bit. Then you can expect 'throw in' items like Canadian Tire money, Blue Mountain Pottery beavers, and for the very special visitory...black velvet pillows from Banff with a painted elk. The Harpers said they have fun making the gift list up at home and get many of their ideas from Canadian game shows.

*NOTE don't forget to vote in the poll a few posts back. i'll close it tonight to see if our mutual fucker, steve, will have stubble (leading vote), a smooth face or moustache (second place tie). YES YOU CAN VOTE MORE THEN ONCE.

**pop on over to The Gazateer who's keeping tabs on Rush Limbaugh's comments and public reaction to the Micheal J. Fox ads supporting stem-cell research. Another great neo-con blight as Mr. Limburger accuses Fox of 'faking' his shaking. Well Rush, did you know your wife has been 'faking it' all these years?

October 23, 2006

My Exciting Day

So I've shortened the oringinal post...sue me.

I checked in on Alison's blog at Creekside. There, in full blown black and white was her post on the B&P debacle. Not to take away from Alison's good post, but some of the comments enraged me to the far ends of this flat earth (you non-bipolars probably think it's round...hah!). There was a lot of good barf reflex comments supporting Mackay.

There was a lot of uvula touching action in Blogtown that day. My blood boiled and when I got over it and reached the place that triggered the reaction (hurt, of course), the tears came and I decided to email and post back to a few of the Mackay supporters why the whole shebang and their comments caused me to feel pained. I went over what I had experienced in my 50 short years on this slice pizza. A young man responded to say he was sorry and never took things into account beyond his small world. That was heartwarming.

More cardiac treatments after stopping in at YaYa Canada where Yaya posted a biting commentary from Ron Saba, Editor of Montreal Planet Magazine, calling for MacKay's resignation. Yesssssss! Complete with links to the audio track.

The tabloid style media blitz may be over on this one, but the focus should remain - Harpo's Bizzaro's are a 'take me back to the good old daze of wine, women and wrongs'. No matter what, a person in a position of authority should not bring their personal life into a meeting, or as in this case, such a prominent place as the House of Commons. If good old boys want to cry in their beer and vent with each other over love doing them wrong, fine, leave it at the pub. But if you want to make the road ahead for my daughter even rougher, lookout, because you never, ever, make Mamma Bear mad enough to come out of her cave. NEVER.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More excitement!!!!!! I had to pay for something in another country and Visa red-flagged the purchase as it was not in my normal shopping sphere. We got that sorted out and the clerk asked me if he could do anything more to help. The following conversation ensuued:

Me: Yes, I've been a customer for 20 years now, I'd like a special interest rate.
Visa: Oh, well, ah....
Me: Come on, with my late payments I help keep you employed.
Visa: Haha, that's true, never thought of that. Well, hmmm,
Me: You're offering new customers a good deal.
Visa: You're right , and I can offer you the same. 2.9% on balance transfer payments from other cards.
Me: I don't have any other cards so it doesn't apply. Come on, what's behind door number two? I want a prize.
Visa: Tell ya what, We'll credit your Visa for $100.00 as you've been a good long-term customer.
Me: Great, I'll take it! Thanks, I love prizes! Um, what was behind door number three?
Visa: Hahahahaha.

Try it!

October 22, 2006

The man who fucks us all....Rasta Steve





OK, in between blowing my nose and helping to outift the landlord's kids for halloween, i came up with the following roughs (and boy are some rought!!!). The question is, do you want blue eyed, bare faced rasta surfing steve, or a facial hair version? vote in the poll and if you choose 'other' please leave a comment as to what you'd like:

Should Rasta Steve Have Facial Hair?
No, I want my fucker to have a smooth face
Yes, a beard
Yes, stubble
Yes, a Cheech and Chong fu man choo
Yes, a lebret
Other
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com


And the Winner is....RASTA STEVE!

Rasta Steve beats out Aryan Ken Doll by only a few votes, as the man who is fucking us all.

Now, do we want him with stubble, a beard, moustache, goatee........i'll do the images as the day goes by then create a poll (as fast as my dripping nose will allow and inbetween helping the landlord's kids witih their haloween costumes).

October 21, 2006

Deep Desecration

Deep Integration? Why those cheeky corporations and politicians! Here I thought they were attempting to move to a more romantic setting before they fucked us and maybe even let us have some pleasure along the way instead of the virtual gang bang it's become. Imagine Bush, Harper and Fox (then his little predesseser calderon) coming into your bedroom and plying you with their corporate buddies? Double yuck, ew. But that's what's happening in the political arena and Deep Integration doesn't mean dimming the lights and spinning some slow tunes.

6N Clan Mother Kahentenitha Horn likens it to Deep Impact, and she's right on when she writes, 'The plan is 'deep subjugation' of everybody on Turtle Island to U.S. dictates.' Please read the article, you'll be glad you did.

Personally I see the scope of damage over the last few centuries as total desecration of Turtle Island , but there's a reason turtle's have hard shells. In this case the bangers have picked on a snapper, and everything's getting ready to bite them hard on their asses. Those with conqueror attitute, no matter what race, are gonna be running home to mamma witih their sore butts once the economy crashes , their wars continue backlashes, and global warming makes for bad skin rashes....then who's going to be doing the 100 yard dashes? The lads and lasses who's bashes and lashes killed too many and the ashes of injustice and tyrannical mashes that created nuclear flashes sliced them with their own swords, how's that for slashes? put them in the trashes!!!! Shout it now: put them in the trashes. Good, sing again, we don't want clashes, we want white doves and sashes!

October 20, 2006

Kim Jong Sings 'I'm Sorry'

North Korea bad boy Kim Jong has expressed regret over testing nukes. The little guy immediatley hit the recording studios and sang his rendition of Brenda Lee's big time hit.

I'm sorry, so sorry
That I was such a fool
I didn't know
Sanctions could be so cruel
Oh, oh oh oh,
Uh-oh
Oh, yes.

You tell me mistakes
Are part of being Napolean
But that don't right
The wrong that's done

(spoken)
(I'm sorry) I'm sorry
(so sorry) So sorry
Please accept my apology
I lost my mind
And I'm blind from the flash to see
OH, oh oh oh
Uh-oh U.S. and China behind Japanese
Oh, yes

*reports today say Condi-deville has heard no apology from kim jong.

October 19, 2006

Famous Stupid People #12

EVERYONE LOVES A PARADE AND THEY'LL BE ONE SOMEWHERE FOR THE ANON who correctly guessed Augusto Pinochet. Heh, I bet Sheena's cursing as I'm sure her 'is he still active politically' question gave it away.


*A few posts down, "How do you want Harper to Look?', Rasta Steve and Aryian Ken Doll Steve are running neck in neck. You can vote more then once, so go for it and I'll close the results over the weekend.

**LISTEN TO CBC's 'AS IT HAPPEN'S' CAROL OFF VIRTUALLY KILL RONA AMBROSE. Off is one of Canada's best journalists and while she'll be missed 'in the field' her studio appointment is the best thing to happen for 'as it happens' in a long time. Mother Corp's exploding arse logo and politcially motivated demise can't top having Off onboard....I'm sure Harpoon would never consent to an interview with her :)

***Verbena-19 has a report on MacKay's fucked up take on Mahmoud Jaballah's detentiion and deportation.

October 18, 2006

Harper: Off With Garth Turner's Head

It's the talk of Blogtown...Harper
removing MP Garth Turner from Caucus for 'breech of confidence' over his blogspot. We all know, 'ya right', more like the outspoken Turner didn't jive with Harper's tune, so the dance hall bouncers were bound to come out at any time. The Reform Party just doesn't like the real Conservatives, let's face it. But they've had to deal with the Lebanon evac and Afghanistan, so
Turner's turn didn't come till now. To every season.....

Just look at the pic of Steve! I called Daddy Scout, Parliament Hill custodian to peek at Mr. Harper's notebook and here's what it said:

Peter MacKay came to me on several occasions in tears because Turner wears a leather jacket and Peter wants to be the only one allowed to. I can only afford one cool looking MP and Peter wins, hands down. Garth also has a beard and only Rabbi's should. The Reform Party must look standardized, save for MacKay, our token playboy (note: get more P.I.'s on Stronache and Domi). Turner is a turnip haha (note: tell that to Ben and Rachel at supper). Who in their right mind works for their constituents??? This guy doesn't get it. I'm glad I axed him and I wish George liked me better so I could brag to him (note: send letter of good luck for GOP). Ew, Turner even has those big 80's glasses. Jim Prentice's half frames are sweet. And the guy doesn't have one bit of Adam Smith in his closet, he just makes me puke (note: have Laureen pick up new Tip Top Tailor suit).

*you can still vote for your fave 'harper's fucking me look' a few posts down. So far 'Aryan Ken Doll' leads over 'Rasta Steve'.

October 17, 2006

If Only They Were Normal #11- Laura Bush and Laureen Harper



Imagine being married to George Walker or Stephen Joseph. No thanks!!! If their wives were normal they would have left their sociopathic mates by now or at LEAST had an affair to comfort each other's living with emotionless, incompassionate guys. Let's let the fly on the wall listen in:

Laura It's o.k. sugar, Mamma's gonna make everything alright for pretty little Laureen.
Laureen OH Laura, I , I never knew what it was like to be held and comforted this way before. My husband is so....
Laura Shhh, dumplin'. Let's leave the world of testosterone behind. It's just you and me right now.
Laureen Hold me tighter. Tell me you'll take me to the Mid-East Peace Jam session.
Laura Ya honeychild, don't you worry, that's right, put your hand there, how's this feel?
Laureen I, I've never been asked that before. Laura, oh, Laura!!!
Laura Hush now, hush. We'll make love, not war.

*and to bring you out of that fantasy.......friends on the big island of hawaii where the earthquake took place report that most everything is being restored to normal. One friend who lives on the north end, which got hit the hardest, said it was a real 'shaker' as opposed to a roller (hey, she lived in L.A. for 16 years so knows her quakes). Lots of structural damage to buildings and roads but there's good that comes with this....the old sugar cane flumes that diverted water to the fields have been destroyed and this will help restore moisture to areas that turned desert because of it.

October 16, 2006

Steve's Makeover - final on hairdo

A few posts back the poll narrowed Steve's hairdo down to 'rasta' as the main, with 'other' following. Two of the 'others' were Sheena Vision's Ken Doll so I did an Aryan version, and YaYa Canada's suggestion of 'bullet steve' which comes via Canada Today (interesting site!!!). Take a close gander at this pic, it's steve's hair and clothes made of bullets...really well done!

Now it's time for the final round to give the man who's fucking us all a new hairdo.....what's your vote?


How do You Want Steve to Look?
Rasta Steve
Bullet Steve McQUEEN
Aryan Ken-doll Steve
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com



Next we'll move on to facial hair etc.

*OH GREAT - Liberal Frank MacKenna now feels Canada should rethink it's Missile Defense Program with the States...guess now that we're a target some Libs feel they should join the club rather then work at defeating the Con-airs.....speaking of Con-air, the Alberta/Montana border will now be airpatrolled. Off we go into the wild blue , red and white yonder!!!! Good way to keep a better watch on those brown-skinned, Canadian-born people.

*Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentriity notified me today of correctional INVESTIGATOR howard sapers releasing a report pointing to all the discrimination in prisons against aboriginals...stockwell responded:

"Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day has said he will consider the findings of Sapers's report but there is no evidence of systemic discrimination against native offenders in the prison system."

does he have any gray matter?

McHale's Navy Flops! Sitcom Cancelled

The blubbering Gary McHale who headed the 'peace march' at Caledonia on Sunday attended with a dingy full of supporters rather than the ship he was hoping for. PLUS, as Amelopsis speculates in the post below, MCHALE MAY HAVE BAILED EARLY!!!!! Guess that's what happens when you have a leaky boat. Ships Ahoy, McHale, your starboard is listing and your hull is covered with barnacles. This 'made for tv movie' just didnt cut it and has been cancelled. Time for 'dry dock' maybe?

Youngfox Canada and Amelopsis have pics up at their blogs.

Reports from Clan Mom's are just starting to trickle in and I'll add some comments here as they do. Meantime keep your eye on MNN, and I'm sure Annamarie at Verbena-19 will keep us updated. Also keep your mouse over Youngfox Canada who was out there, and I'm sure YaYa Canada will have updates.

*not one politician, locally, provincially or federally was around.

October 15, 2006

Scary McHale's Heritage


Scary McHale , who lives 100 km's away from Caledonia, had organized a 'peaceful' protest march onto Six Nation's land at the reclaimed Douglas Estate's land. He thought 20,000 people would participate but only 1,000 did. CBC reports only one person was arrested as many crossed the 'buffer zone'. Meantime Clan Mothers calmly held a potluck gathering.

Harper Valley had the opportunity to interview Scary's grandmother, Josephine Curveasous Jellyfish, after discovering McHale has native blood:

HV - Why is Scary so anti-native?
Grandma - He doesn't like how I treated him. Love just isn't his way. He always wanted to play with dolls so I let him and I think he's afraid his wife will find out.
HV - He played with dolls?
Grandma - Yes, and he loved to dress up as a girl. It was so cute. I made him special dresses as he was always a bit rotound. He went in the jingle dance competitions at the powwows but as he got older was embarassed, you know how it is, some kids tease a lot and the non-native kids razzed him pretty bad.
HV - Are you saying Scary is in denial?
Grandma - I guess that's a term you could use. He rejected who he is, ran away and joined the navy to prove he is a man. There's not much regard for a two-spirit in non-native society, but The Navy, well, now we're talking!
HV - So is this what it's all about, another 'Aryan-Wash' coverup for how deeply he was hurt by society?
Grandma- Are you always this serious? Why don't you take that fake beard off and sit down for some frybread?


*while msm reports about 1,000 marches turned out, some Clan Mothers estimate it was about 500. The Haudenusee calmly held their potluck and some brothers and sisters came all the way from South Dakota, along with lots of others to join in a peaceful food feast. 6N is still 'on watch' as there were some tensions and it's best to keep prepared. Huge appreciation for all the prayers said have been expressed.

Scary's grandma's name came from Dead Dog Cafe's Authentic Indian name generator. I punched in 'gary mchale' , 'female' and Josephine Curveasous Jellyfish is what came up.
btw, i am Joline Dank Ragweed.

More links at YaYa Canada under 'Crystal Methodist".

Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist

Ha Hoo! Parishiners, oh parishoners!

Before you leave Jack Lord's house, remember to put a few extra alms in the plate! I'm watching and you wouldn't want me to tell stories about you now, you naughty people you!

A quick note from Luke Warm, 10:23:04 - 'Yay though I walk through the Valley of Six Nation's death I shall fear no evil for I am an Aryan sent on mission impossible from Steve Harper's pointing finger of judgement. Thy rod and staff comfort and pleasure me (ho ho, I added that in for all you heated dames).'

So remember, march on Sunday wearing your best leiderhosen because what mamma said is true...you don't want to be caught at the hospital with old or dirty underwear!!! Hold your placards high so the media won't get crotch shots, and please, this is the work of Jack Lord so if you hear the words "Book 'em, Danno', don't resist and know that White Christ will save you!

Ta ta and have a merry, merry missionary march to God's land (those indians, how they think it's their land behooves me. May White God strike them with OH, OUCH, WHAT HAPPENED, I just felt my derriere being pinched. Mr. Harper, was that you?). Ho, ha, there's always fun and games in the hallowed halls.

October 13, 2006

Prayer Time !


Your thoughts, prayers, meditation (whatever method you use) are needed this weekend for Six Nations on Sunday, October 15th. This is the day non-native protesters are holding a 'peaceful' march onto the Douglas Creek Estates (Haldiman tract) that 6N reclaimed in April. Peaceful? If peace were intended the protesters would march to the OPP office or the legislative grounds or parliament hill....they are, after all, saying they are protesting what they consider the government's failure and the OPP's unfair treatment of non-natives (ya right).

Gary McHale of Richmond Hill (that's right, Richmond Hill, not Caledonia) is heading up the march with the assistance of the dastardly Caledonia Wakeup Call Gang. McHale is an obvious plant and I'm sure this group will be hiring plants again to do their best to instill violence against six nations and provoke violence. Then Gary and his wakeup gang and the governments will get what they want...the media will one-sidedly report again about the dumb fuckin' injuns.

McGuinty could have issued an injunction. Governor General Michealle Jean could have followed the protocal bequested of her by the Clan Mothers and the Queen from the beginning. Who are these politicians and private citizens? Probably all part of Mr. Christ's Army. Speaking of which, that's what the feds want most....violence and the army, who have had troops stationed around there since before day 1 to go in and Ipper-white-wash away. Minerals and land, that's what it's all about....keep killing those injuns!

For more depth and detail please see
Mohawk Nations News (click on 'news'). For other info and p.o.v. please see K-Dough's Canada "Caledonia Rally Railing", Youngfox Canada"Caledonia Reclamation Protest to Receive Unwanted Visit From Attention Seeking Meatheads" , Verbena-19 Six Nations Peace Gathering on Sunday, October 15th! (Annamarie is still having probs with beta blogger so scroll down).

6N's plan? Hold a potluck peace gathering :)

So light your insence, your smudge sticks, spark an owl, spread tobacco, leave a little food on your plate for the ancestors, stand or sit or lie down, put your hands together, have them in your pocket, hold them in front of you, whatever you do that sends your positive vibes to Six Nations for strength, and send those rays of love to the non-native protesters in the hopes that their covered hearts and minds will open (send nasty thoughts you'll get it back ten-fold, send love you'll get it back three-fold). We can all join in with the 6N spirit warriors on this one!!!!

M'gwetch, Osium, HiHi.

*btw, you can still vote below in the 'makeover' of everyone's favorite canadian rapist. we'll get that composite drawing yet....nothing like gang-banging your own country in the name of the babe in swaddlings.

October 12, 2006

It's Steve 'Makeover' Time!







If Steve is going to fuck us, the least he could do is have a makeover. Here's some samples, we'll start with the hair then move on to facial hair, piercings, tats, clothes etc..

Vote in the poll how you'd like your rapist to look. If you click 'other' please leave a suggestion and I'll see what I can come up with.

Remember, we're all being screwed over by the same guy, so let's get a composite!!!
How Do You Want Steve to Look?
His same Conself
Slingblade
Hockey Player
Donald Trump
Gel Steve
Steve Marley
Sidebar 'Normal' shot
Other
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

YaYa Canada has found a Harper hairdo makeover from another site. Have a gander , you may want to click 'other' and leave a comment that says 'Yaya's site'. there's always great reading there anyways, and Yaya's comments are great and right on spot!!! Ms. Activist Supremo who's in the know.

October 11, 2006

Can You Spell T.H.E.O.C.R.A.C.Y.?

'Let Jesus Fuck You' is taking on whole new meanings these days as the CONfused goosestep their way to strip Canadian's of their rights.

I don't have to post the links to gays, abortion, women, war, making us a target for the sake of 'protectionsim', and raping the environment, stepping on native rights, and of course, with that cross Steve's holding in his hand, the mention of 'deep integration' becomes something different.

Gee Steve, if I'm gonna be fucked by you, you could ast least learn how to dress!!!

sitting here putting on my BEST Llinda Blair voice saying , 'LET STEVEN FUCK YOU, LET STEVEN FUCK YOU !'.

October 10, 2006

Steve Gets Strict

Our boy Steve says he's getting strict when it comes to emission controls.

Translated this means neo-cons will now wear gas masks while espousing their polluted, hot, yucky air , which will result in Kyoto standards being doubled in half the time. Brilliant!

I can see Boreen now with goosebumps as she awaits a spanking from hubby dear. More neo-con sex images.....EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

*copy of 'Green Steve's' speech "In fact, that is what they said generally about the last Conservative government – until, earlier this year, they finally acknowledged it to be the greenest in Canada’s history."....right, as green as Linda Blair's barf. Anyone else smell another 'Made in Vancouver announcement to appease Olympic draw bullshit crapola to raise the world's perception of the deeply integrated Reform Party"?

NOTE: Alison at Creekside recently posted this little gem of a soul protestor at the Peace Arch. My apologies to others who posted this too, I saw it on a few of my 'regular circuit' sites but, alas, menopause detracts from the mind once again to put more power to the intuitive.

Famous Stupid People #11

THE REV from The Woodshed correctly guessed Donald Trump. Man, I think this was the fastest guess ever...shows to go ya when the right questions are asked. While I'm no longer sending out prizes, SURELY someone out there has a Donald Trump hairpiece to send Rev. I'm sure he'd cherish it.

NOTE: I will no longer be offering a prize as I'm allergic to snail mail and have grouped prizes for past winneres but can't quite seem to get them in an envelope. I've tried taking anti-histamines to correct this but it's not working. hmm. So be happy with guessing right and getting a sidebar blurb on your site!!!

October 09, 2006

"Take That, American Pig Dog!"

Rumours of North Korea testing a nuclear bomb have surfaced. The U.S. , along with Russian, South Korea and Japan all say they detected seismalogial waves that indicate underground testing.

We here at Harper Valley were given a different story from the North Korean government.

October 08, 2006

Crystal Methodist

It's Sunday, meet Crystal Methodist, your Gal of Gawd who can help opiate the masses with sermons as ripe as the poppies growing in Afghanistan. Crystal's a bit of an enigma but we do know she's a spinster ever chasing the eligable bachelor, Theo Cracy, a church elder known for his savvy at getting parishoners to put a few extra fins and sawbucks into the collection plate.

Crystal;s not ordained but does tend to the flowers and bookeeeping, and if you're in her path she'll deliver her own version of The Good Book. Let's listen to a nanno second of her pental-accosting the Smith's as they leave Our Lady of Perpetual Borrow -

"Ha hoo! Smith's, oh Smithies!!! Don't forget Matthew 21:05 and Peter 18:03 when you go to poker tonight. A little birdie told me. I want to see any winnings put in the plate!!!'.

You get the drift, but ya gotta love her for keeping track of the flock.

*Crystal was inspired by JJ at Unrepentant Old Hippie and her recent post on likening religion to crack.

October 07, 2006

If Only They Were Normal #10- Michael Ignatieff

Liberal Leadership contenter Michael Ignatieff, if he were normal:

"Yup. You'll get nothing but straight talk from me. I think we've had enough of politicians who can't shoot from the hip. No more fucking around with fancy-dancy intellectual bullshit and promises, this time it's going to be for the people and I don't want anyone knowing who my dad is, hear? That's got nothing to do with anything. A little common sense, nose to the grindstone, roll up our sleeves and get to work is what it's going to be. There was a time a person knew what a liberal was and stood for, well I'm bringing that back and there's no effin way my tax dollars or anyone elses are getting wasted on a useless war. I gotta get back to the job here and I don't have a zillion speeches saying the same thing over and over so if you'll excuse me I'm gonna finish up then have some beer with regular citizens and listen to what THEY have to say."

October 06, 2006

Steve's Got Mail !!!

Affter waiting at LEAST six months, Steve's 'Dublya Dublya Real Genuine Wrestling Belt' finally arrived. Did you ever see such a beaming kid? Ssshhhhh, don't tell his mom!

All right, so it's a lousey photoshop....but look at the guy! We've got to dress him right. Outta the Tip Top Taylor suit and PLEASE...look at the collar on this guy!!!!

FASHION CONSULTANTS PLEASE! Bruce, Q, Alison, Ross, JJ, Annamarie...EVERYONE, I want your suggestions, how are we going to make this guy look better (besides as the sidebar hottie). I want a team...i'll be your photoshop slave...should he be a Sultan of Swing? A dapper debonairre ? An ultra chic trendo-boy??? HELP!

October 05, 2006

Rainbow Friday

Hey, it's WEAR RAINBOW FRIDAY to support our LGBT Community!!!

Harper: Wow, what a turnout! Brothers and sisters, I want to confess. I've had attractions to many men over the years, but, I married and keep to my vows. I did experiment a couple of time during University, and supported Mulroney's age of consent lowering to 14 in 1987. But that's besides the point because I wasn't in a position of authority then. I do know the temptations though and that's why I banned Blackberries.

I'm not trying to say that all homosexuals are pedophiles like me, er, ah, I mean, like , never mind. But I do want you to know I value you as much as our troops that I send over to have killed. OH, that didn't sound right. I'm sorry, my speech writer, Polly, is on vacation. She's a lesbian parrot.

Ah, let's all join hands now and continue to wear rainbow on fridays. Where's my paige.....um, I mean pager, PAGER is what I meant. Damn, where's Polly!!!!

Rona Ambrose Gets Starring Role

Seen here with identical cousin Kirsty Alley, Rona Ambrose is set to study her script for a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds'. Rona's getting plenty of rehearsal time in, having been called forth by the Commons environment committee and questioned on the government's approach to the Kyoto accord. With Harper-approved script in hand, Rona's sure to 'wow' them.

The Birds remake is going well by all reports, where Rona stars as an innocent urban politician who goes for a hike and gets shat on the head by gun toting spotted owls. Covered with the marshmellow dew, Rona must find her way out of the woods, blinded by the phosphates burning her eyes. All 17 remaining spotted owls were cast but hundreds more were needed, so Rona's Environment Ministry gave the thumbs up to capture barn owls and cover them with toxic paints to make them 'realistic'.

"It's for the sake of art", says Ms. Ambrose. "Owls are just stupid animals anyways and get in the way of exploiting resources and development. Wait till my second flick where we'll remove all existing, outdated filters on factory smokestacks to re-make 'Planet of the Rapes'. This will expose once and for all that economy is more imortant then environment. No I'm not a neo-con Al Gore, shove it!"

October 04, 2006

The Clampetts Go North

Jed That Steve fella seemed a might strange.
Granny I'll say, I never did trust them thar ree-ligious types.
Ellie May Shucks ya'll, they had so many cute critters. Those cats and rats were wonderful.
Jed Hope Mr. Steve don't mind Duke eatin' a couple of them cats. Ya, Elli, I can see where a gal like yourself would like this Canada place. Now why did that Steve man want our opinion on deep integration? I still don't understand it.
Jethro Heck Uncle Jed, we learned all about it in grade school. Inter Gratin' is a kind of way to cut up cheese. So I guess the deep kind would be real big slices like I could eat a ton of.
Jed That makes sense boy. I'll call Miss Jane when we git back an see if I can order up Steve a knife like Granny's.
Granny Hold on Jed, don't you be givin' my secret's away. I don't want everyone knowing bout my knife, sides, I don't think this Steve could handle 'The Widow Maker'. How bout you just send him one of the Drysdale's extras?
Jed Reckon' yer right Granny. He doesn't seem Confederate enough. Got something Yankee 'bout him. Well, let's push on an' get to the cee-ment pond. I could use a dip after listenin' to all that chunky air.

S.T.E.V.........O., Doublya, Harper, puts more in your morning!

October 03, 2006

Doomsday Clock...what time is it, Mr. Wolfbush?

With all the wars, Dubya gone nuts, deep integration and the stripping of individual rights, North Korea and it's supposed nuke bomb, Iran and it's, blah blah blah bbbbbbbbbbllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

..........I thought i'd check in on the Doomsday Clock to see how many minutes before midnight it's set at. The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists reports 7 minutes to midnight, which is the same time as when it was first set in 1947. Over the years it's changed, the closest being in 1953 when Russia and the United States set off thermonuclear devices within 9 months of each other.

WELL, how dissapointing to see the clock hasn't been moved since 2002!!!!! I have the mind to ring up Kim Jong and Mr. Bush and tell them to get on with things. I went and had 50,000 of these t-shirts made up to profit off the ill state of the world, and these guys are just so daft they can't draw the clock any further then 7 minutes. 7 minutes!!!. How am I going to sell all these shirts at this rate?

Now I have to sell at discounted prices and I'll be lucky if I break even. Thanks a lot, Dubya!

WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The trumpets are sounding as Sheena of SheenaVision correctly guess Josef Stalin!!!!

Congratulations, Ms. S., I'll get to your sidebar write-up later in the day.

October 02, 2006

Forever, Ever, Hold Your banner High (high high!)

They're pulling coup's everywhere! Congratulations, Steve, on your new banner that includes the logo of you church The Christian and Missionary Alliance In Canada.

Can't wait to check the mail to see if my t-shirt with banner and built in chip has arrived! Oh boy!

Party Boy Priests!!!

Oh those wacko priests! These two Miami jokers have been accused of stealing $8 mill from the coffers over the years and blowing it on women, parties, the high falutin' life.

Gives a whole new meaning to 'Miami Vice'. I guess it's hard to keep your hands out of the collection plate when wine, women and song await you. It's rumoured The Flying Nun blew the whistle on them and their tracks weren't hard to uncover as they went to the 'Jeb Bush School of Screcracy'. If convicted they'll be sentenced to 10 Hail Mary's and a program at Dubya's church called , 'I'm not bad, the new laws say so'.

Congrats boys on your party time, and have fun at the new church with Foley!!!!

Baskets and Blue Cohosh - a Tribute to Warrior Women


The other day I was at a woman's on a reservation in B.C.. She was showing me her basket collection, most of which came from an elderly white woman who's grandmother had it. Before the elderly woman died she wanted to pass the baskets on to their rightful owner, the great-grandaughter of the well noted native woman who made the beautiful woven carriers.

I held them and the strength that each one exuded was enormous. The wisdom, knowledge and power in each one came from the maker's connection to nature and all it holds. Woman's wisdom...so strong because it has the ability to hold, to move and shake, to bring forth the spiritual warrior who keeps society on track. Women have womgs, the ultimate connection to Mother Earth.

Before Christianity we were all able to tap into areas of our mind that helped heal, see, hear and know. Come the Dark Ages and in Europe these people were seen as evil witches to the Crusaders. Burnt, drowned, tortured along with some men who practised what was thought as savage (without soul) activities. That same attitude carried forth with the coming of the conqueror to Turtle Island.

Native ways went underground. For Europeans too much was lost though some like the Ukrainians and Roma held to the underground too. For most groups it was the women who kept the ways. Before the Dark Ages, tribal Europe like North America was largely Mother Clan.

Mother Clan were the 'original feminists'....decreed by nature and spirit. The women held the land to make sure it was never sold and properly stewarded. The women appointed the leaders (men or women) as they raised the children and knew best who was suitable for the jobs. Leading meant listening, for the circle was consensual. Mother Clan is gender equal.

The patriarchal heirarchy of religion was well ingrained in most settler's minds. I'm sure many a woman worked towards change, but the most well noted in recent history were two movement, one being the sufferagettes who gained the vote for Canadian women in 1922. Natives were granted voting privilege in 1964. The other group was 'The Feminists' of the 60's and 70's.

I have benefitted greatly from all my ancestors, and my aunts and sisters who worked towards change. It has given me OPPORTUNITY AND CHOICE. The list is too long to even begin to make. Those two words will have to suffice.

The Dark Ages seem upon us again but there is light at the end of this long tunnel of hate. Love always rules in the end, no matter what. Be it 'bread and roses' or 'baskets and blue cohosh', I say HiHi , thank you, to the grandmothers, aunts, sisters who worked for change and the men who worked along side them. And I say the same to our daughters and sons who will continue the work until someday soon Mother Clan ways are reclaimed. It is coming soon, this change to the light. Our Six Nation's sisters bring new meaning to warrior society where taking action is the way. To date they have filed so many claims, put the process in motion in the courts of Turtle Island and are on the verge of brining us all liberation from the oppression of the oligarchy.

Mother Clan reclamation is the new 'feminsism'. We have to go back in order to proceed correctly. Female warriors live on.

When Women hold their rightful place again then so too will all people, all races, all gender, all sexual preference, all as one blood.

*Blue Cohosh is an herb traditionally used by native indians to induce abortion. It is also used to ease labour, as a contraceptive and for anxiety, and asthma. Use of this herb is not suggested unless you know someone who knows it's properties, protocal and dosage.

September 30, 2006

They're Up Our Butts....The SupposiTORY

YOU write the story on this!!!

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