September 30, 2006

They're Up Our Butts....The SupposiTORY

YOU write the story on this!!!

Famous Stupid People #10

This one's a boy!!! Rules on the sidebar.

Winner of #9 is JJ of Unrepentant Old Hippie

Liberal's Get a New Fence


While the federal Liberals choose delegates this weekend, they've also unveiled their new fence to sit on. The good old white picket has that family feel and ensures a nice sensation up the butt while waffling. Comes with free K-Y lotion.

September 29, 2006

Con Artist

Stephan Harper painting his picture of the world.

September 28, 2006

HAPPY BLOGGIVERSARY , BRUCE!!!

The candles are a lit and my dog is wondering why. Bruce at Canuk Attitude has now been blogging for two years!!! Congrats Bruce, I enjoy your site for your honest perspective of gay life and how the politics and attitudes today can affect the lives and emotions of the LGBT community. Other topics are included. Intelligent, feeling, and a good dose of reflection and light hearted humour bring me back, always...you sweetheart!

Stephen Harper needs Avian Flu Shot

In their meeting yesterday, Romanian President Traian Băsescu flashed the peace sign and Stephen Harper flipped the bird. Romanian officials are now holding Steve in quarantine until Avian flu vaccines arrive in the country to inocculate the PM. Officials say not to worry, the shots should arrive in 2010.

OK, now that I woke up out of that dream, time to get on with some work. I'm workin' hard.

September 27, 2006

Famous Stupid People #9

THE HORNS ARE SOUNDING AS JJ OF Unrepentant Old Hippie correctly guessed THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!!!!!!!

September 25, 2006

Smudge Break



No text necessary. See ya in a few days.

Meet Montreal Simon

Check out Montreal Simon for some great insight, humour and bashing of the 'theocons'. Simon's latest post "Harper's Theoccons and the Doggy's Asshole" is about the sicko church the Harper's attend . Meantime The Galloping Beaver has a good one on "The Rise of the Christian Right in Harper's Canada".
Both are good articles but you may need a double lined barf bag.

RUMOUR, RUMOUR!!! Havril of 'Insert Something Clever' may be cooking up a new post! all i can say is 'yay'.

September 24, 2006

Love Means Never Having To Say You're a Tory

While Maher Arar is still waiting for an apology and compensation from the government, Steve and Boreen would like to make one thing perfectly clear: Love Means Never Having To Say You're a Tory.

The First Lady of Canada stresses that the Harpers are all about unconditional love. "There's no need for words from Stephie. Mr. Arar should just know in his heart we love him". Harper concurred, saying, "If Mr. Arar would pray to our God, he'd know that what happened was an accident and our God will give hiim richness in his heart".

Tory caucus all agreed and are thinking of making a movie of the Harper's beautiful thoughts. It's rumoured Celine Dion will play Boreen and Ben Mulroney is up for Steve's role along with Michael J. Fox in lifts, and William Shatner sans girdle.

Naked Friday

Thousands gathered Friday on Parliament Hill for NAKED FRIDAY to show support for Canadian Troops. Originally billed as "Wear Red Friday", Canadians decided the symbolic wearing of red was being exploited by the CONvalescents and instead chose to wear nothing.

Said Harry Balls, "It's going to get cold soon but shrinkage isn't going to hold me back from attending future rallies". Sporting a red ribbon tattoo, Sandy Beaver said, "This is far more real. It says we don't support war, we feel for the troops in the desert". Another participant, Al Bino expressed that "...I just came to see if the PM was handing out free coffee or hot dogs".

Harper could not be seen amongst the throng and chose instead to broadcast his address through loudspeakers. Apparently he had knicked one of his moobs while attaching a false piercing.

September 23, 2006

Precedent Setting Case Won For Australian Indigenous People

Mighty clan mother Kahentintha Horn of Six Nations reports that a precedent setting case in Australia gives way for indigenous people. The report also gives a harsh peak at the realities of the D.I.A. and it's 'War Room'.

Bush:Howard, you snivellin' heifer, how'd ya let that happen?
Howard:Snivel, snivel
Bush:Steve, you ever handled one of these long guns before?
Harper:Why, ah, no Sir. But I can, I just know I can. They're legal in Canada and everything.
Bush:(eyes rolling) Good, that's what I like to hear, real hombre talk. Howard, we're about to scare the shit out of ya.
Howard:NO! I'll never let it happen again. Fair dinkum, mate, it just slipped by.
Bush:Not good enough. We wanna see ya dance.
Harper:Er ya, dance, Howard!
Bush:Hee haw Steve, yer really gettin' things. Anyone up for some Tex-Mex after?

Meet Harper's Speech Writer!

Her name is Polly and she's been on the job since the beginning.

Polly works for crackers, swears like a sailor and needs a lot of attention, but man she's good at getting Bush's words into Harper's speeches!!! It does take a little extra to have an editor delete the 'squawks' and expletives but it's saving The New Government tons of dough to go towards the Messing with Psyches...er, I mean, Supposed War on Terrorism.

Birds of a feather fuck together, I mean FLOCK together, so Harper, FLOCK OFF!!!

September 22, 2006

Major Labia

There's been some mention lately by visitors here like Jeff of African Perspective and Cheez of Neuronic that we need people with ovaries as leaders. I agree, as long as they are not sacrificial lambs of 'the good old boys'.

While I don't believe in party politics, one woman I admire the heck out of is B.C.'s NDP leader Carole James. Grounded, salt of the earth, not afraid to admit to error, caring but tough, sustainably minded and of Metis and Italian heritage, this woman grew up in poverty in Victoria. She knows the other side of the coin yet understands business. How many are around like that???

Married to Carrier Nation artist Al Gerow, a great guy himself, Carole strives to keep a clean, tight ship with no room for egos. Yes, it's a new NDP under her leadership and she has just as much knowledge of sustainable practises and practical applications as the Green Party...the difference being that she's brought the NDP to be the major contender in the ranks against Gordie's faux liberals.

Would I cast a vote her way...in a second! This woman has major labia, holding her own in her own style....not that of superficial leaders who rely on ego and coersion. She JUST IS HERSELF. You want ovaries, this woman's got emu eggs.

And Suckers We Is

Afghani President Hamid Karzai thanked Canada for it's Sucker Bucks as the numero uno country supporting the whateveritis that's going on over there. Bodies and bucks, we got 'em for you at lo, lo discounted prices! Get placed as a puppet, DON'T form your own army, call 1-800-CanukerSucker and have fun doing whatever it is you're doing. Wearing a poppy this Remberance Day will take on a whole new meaning!

Don't forget to vote here:

I support Afghanistan
NOT !!!
Because I'm a sucker
I love Steve
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com



September 21, 2006

Rope the Dope - Chavez Vs. Bush


It's a left uppercut to the jaw, a jab to the eye, and Hugo keeps punching on target to the devil himself, Doublya. We're waiting for the TKO in the third round, somehow Bush's coach and trainers just don't have him prepped for this world bout....no wonder he won't go up against Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. If you recall the Iranian has challenged Bush to a debate but Bush will only do so with HIS guidelines (which means secret two way radio contact to someone with brains to feed him the answers).

Mother Jones has the video of Chavez calling Bush the devil and smelling the sulphur.

Meantime Stevie keeps wanting to make his debut on the world stage a memorable one and he's itching to get in the ring. Sorry Steve, if youre going to take steroids you have to do the WORKOUT too. Fire Bush's trainers and start from the beginning, that's called learning Queenbury Rules. Dumbass.

September 20, 2006

Ralph Klein - Good Boy Hands In letter of resignation

What a good boy Ralphy is!!! He finally handed in his letter of resignation , and as he promised his wife, didn't do it before she made a presentation on Crystal Meth (one of Ralph's reported girlfriends). Now if only he could have contained the little devil within when he tossed coins on the ground to the homeless, cut back a myriad of social programs, violated native rights (plus Ralphy had a penchant for boinking Blackfoot women on his binges...no wonder the corrupt chiefs made him an honourary one) blah blah blah to keep Alberta the United States of Alberta.

Gosh, and Harper is probably crying. I'm sure Klein and dozens, nay hundreds of 'good old boys' who towed the bigot line before him are retired, dead, continuuing their dementia.

With the likes of the Fraser Institute on his mind I'm sure cruise ships and the Betty Ford Clinic may be on the list too.

Good luck Ralphy, any clown could have run that oil rich province and looks like you've been numbero uno as Bozo for many a year. Your hot air probably contributed far too much to Global Warming. NEXT!!!

Famous Stupid People #8 - RECAP

AWOOGA, AWOOGA, WE HAVE A WINNER!
RON GOOD OF Northern Subverbia guessed Cuba's Fulgencio Batista.

NO HE IS NOT PETER MACKAY
NO HE IS NOT DONALD RUMSFELD
NO HE IS NOT PRINCE CHARLES
NO HE IS NOT POPE RATZASS
NO HE IS NOT JOE VOLPE
NO HE IS NOT MUSHARRAF
NO HE IS NOT JACOB ZUMA
NO HE IS NOT MIKE HARRIS
NO HE IS NOT KOIZUMI
NO HE IS NOT JOHN HOWARD
NO HE IS NOT NASRALLAH
NO HE IS NOT DON CHIPP
NO HE IS NOT FERDINAND MARCOS
NO HE IS NOT SUHARTO
NO HE IS NOT DONALD CHAMBERLAIN

NO HE IS NOT NORTH AMERICAN
NO HE IS NOT EUROPEAN
YES HE WAS A POLITICIAN
NO HE DOES NOT LIVE IN NORTH AMERICA
NO HE IS NOT MIDDLE EASTERN
NO HE IS NOT AFRICAN
NO HE IS NOT RUSIAN
YES HE IS DEAD
NO HE IS NOT ASIAN
YES HE WAS A HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATOR
NO HE WAS NOT CONSIDERED PART OF SOUTH AMERICAN

September 19, 2006

From The Kalamalka Rainbow

BC Waterboy, a frequent commentor here, has a post up on his site The Kalamalka Rainbow about a complaint being filed against Dr. Joseph Berger, a Toronto Psychiatrist and member of NARTH's "scientific advisory committee. Please go to Waterboy's site, have a good but disgusting read, and send in a complaint!!!! Supporting our LGBT brothers and sisters right now is of utmost importance.

Check out Pam's House Blend Sept. 19, "Same sex buss on plane almost results in diverted flight". If Harper keeps glued to bush-TV things is gonna get worse here. Of course we could always go in and snip the cable :)

I Want My, I Want My Bush T.V.


Steve's humming tunes to himself again as he watches Georgie address the United Nations.

Now look at them yo-yos, that's the way they do it
They play the Con on Bush-TV
That ain't workin', that's the way they do it
Money for nothin and Real Women are free
Now that ain't workin', that's the way they do it
Lemme tell ya, them guys aren't dumb
Maybe get a blister on their middle finger
Maybe get a blister on their big fat bums.

They get to install wire tap covens
Custom searches, prod with ease
They get to move those hate generators
They get to move those colour t.v.'s

The little faggot with the twang and the shakeup
Yeah, buddy, that's their own Heir
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he's a millionaire

I shoulda learned to play the market
I shoulda learned to step on bums
Look at that mama, she got it stickin' in the camera
Man we could have some
And he's up there, what's that, warzone noises
Bangin' on the warheads like a chimpanzee
Oh, that' aint workin', that's the way they do it
Get your money for nothin' get your Real Women for free

Money for nothin', Real Women for free.
I want my , I want my, I want my Bush TV

September 18, 2006

If Only The Were Normal #9 - Donald Rumsfeld & Kim Jong ll

Donald Rumsfeld and Kim Jong ll are staging a 'Bed-In' to protest war and corruption.

Rumsfeld: It's way sweet. We've booked the room and look forward to recording a song for peace.
JONG: I love Donny. We come up with these brilliant ideas together. What we're doing is for the world and it's a sacrifice and statement.
Rumsfed: Christ, ya know it ain't easy. Ya know the way things can be. The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.
JONG: SHRIEK! Up yours, propagators of war!
Rumsfeld: Kimo's my love. Kookookachoo.

September 17, 2006

Letter Writing Time!!!

A Six Nations Update from Hazel Hillis urging us to write to 'the powers that be' to put an end to the violence of some Caledonians against Six Nation's members, and to uphold Canadian law and turn the Haldiman Tract over.

Batch emails and addresses can be found at letters. I know, I know, it's hard writing diplomatically to the bozos, but Hazel has included a sample letter.

oops, the sample letter was in an email and not in the article so here goes:
SAMPLE LETTER

To: Prime Minister Stephen Harper
Jim Prentice, Minister of Indian Affairs and Northern Development and
Federal Interlocutor for Metis and Non-Status Indians

I am writing to urge you to address the threats of violence being posed by
Caledonia citizens and their supporters against the peaceful land
reclamation taken by the people of Six Nations.

In addition, I am writing to demand that the Canadian government uphold
its responsibilities and return full title of Kanonhstaton (the Douglas
Creek Estates) to the people of Six Nations.

It is more than time that land claims put forward by First Nations
communities be addressed. In order to resolve the outstanding land claims
concerning the Onkwehonweh land (Haldimand Tract), full negotiations with
the Six Nations people, on a nation to nation basis, must proceed
immediately.

Hazel Hill, spokesperson for Six Nations, has stated: "We didn't create
the situation, we are only trying to rectify it, for our children and
future generations. We have taken action and have re-claimed land that is
rightfully ours. We are there in Peace, and have been since February
28th... Will Canada allow the hatred and violent displays of racisim of its
citizens to continue and possibly create another Ipperwash, or will it use
the lessons of the past to ensure that the violence stops and admit to
their citizens that it is through their own actions and abuse of assumed
power that we are in this situation today."

I strongly urge you to heed these words and take action to ensure a just
resolution to this issue in a swift and fair manner.

Sincerely,

September 16, 2006

Famous Stupid People #8

This time it's a male. Please read the rules on the sidebar.

Winner of Stupid People # 7 was Q of North of Center who guessed Allessandra Mussolini.

Caption This...

Peter and Condi...or is that Petunia and Conrad? Excuse me while I gender bend the two high school team captains, but with their 'barf, gag, wretch' ,innuendo this week churning stomaches the world over (a good cleanse now and then is necessary but this was unwarranted purge) were having a tough time digesting the tabloid propoganda. Did David Frum write their script???

I leave it to you to caption this pic.

MEANTIME THE 2010 OLYMPICS IS WAAAAAY OVER BUDGET.....GEE, SURPRISE!!! Guess Gordo didn't hold out for enough for the Harper $55 mill 'softwood silence money' . So guess what's going to get the big cuts, you guessed it, HEALTHCARE! Geeze they've got lousey timing. Woulda thought they could have held off at least a week to cover their blunders with cuts.

September 15, 2006

Of Vampires and 'The System'

The Dawson College shootings, MacKay and Condi allude to an affair...which is more insane? The oft quoted, 'Insanity is a sane reaction to an insane world' has taken on new meaning in this day and age. MacKay, trying to prove the Harper government isn't racist by hinting to an affair with a brown-skinned person? Condi, selling yourself out again both as an Afro-American and woman?

Kimveer Gill, the man charged with the Dawson murder and violence, to date, has not been referred to as a Canadian-born, brown-skinned person. MSM only makes reference that he is of East Indian heritage. ONLY?

Six Nation Clan Mother Kahentinetha Horn wrote Sept. 8th "One Dead Indian" in reference to CBC airing this show about Ipperwash and other Native related killlings. The film is not from native perspective and as Ms. Horn points out, 'Like the vampires, once they start drinking blood, they can only stay alive by drinking more blood. These corporate and government vampires are trying to suck the blood out of the people who are preaching peace to the world."

Video games, t.v., movies, government, THE WESTERN WORLD AT LARGE. Symptons of the sick system manifest in so many horrific ways. Child abuse, domestic violence, mass murder, racism, war. Prime Minister Stephen Harper called the shooting "cowardly" and a "senseless act of violence". Oh really Steve, and what about Caledonia, Ipperwash, Oka, Afghanistan, Iraq, Israel???

Like Ecole Polytechnique, society at large will not remember the names of the dead but the name of the murderer. If you want to exonerate bullying, videogames, the media, the government, the system and point the finger at Gill's parents, fine, but I'll say it again, 'Prime Minister Stephen Harper called the shooting "cowardly" and a "senseless act of violence.'. It all contributes, doesn't it, and if a mind is sick to begin with, 'the feed' manifests itself into the herds of believers of the system and faux democracy in different forms. Mr. and Ms. Average Canadian just don't get it. The difference is that it happened in our backyard. The difference is the average Canadian does not give credence to the continued horrors of the genocide of native people, the poor, the disenfranchised, the troubled minds. The focus is on removing programs that help to concentrate on corporate power and the war machine. Harper et al you are hereby pronounce you 'guilty' for banishing programs that help to shift the funds to YOUR Olympics, YOUR corporations, YOUR war, YOUR system.

Count Dracula lives on. Is the 'Vampire Blog' that Gill commented on frequently the real source of blood sucking, or the viewers lapping up the media coverage of just about anything, as Ms. Horn points out?

GOOD JOURNEY ON YOUR PASSING, ANASTASIA DESOUSA.

September 14, 2006

Marathon Scout - Eeze eet Rrright?

Marathon Man was a movie starring Dustin Hoffman as a university student and marathon runner who ends up being chased down by a rendition of the infamous Nazi Dr. Joseph Megele (Sir Laurence Olivier). Mengele was noted for his torture of jews through medicine and dentistry.

I go to the dentist tomorrow for a tooth extraction. My regular dentist won't do them and I don't blame her. Ya got to wonder about people in this profession, I mean, seriously. They have one of the highest rates of suicide of any profession. They look into people's yucky mouths all day, inflict pain, STILL deal with mercury (mad as a hatter comes from the old days when hat makers used mercury to make felts, mercury poisoning can cause all sorts of neurological damage...get those mercury amalgam fillings yanked out!!).

And the specialists have to be really strange. Yanking teeth, doing root canals...I mean, i guess we have to have these people but sometimes I wonder if taking a few shots of whiskey and having someone put their foot on your chin and pull with pliers might serve us just as well.

I like my dentist. I even like the guy who's going to pull my tooth. But why oh why would people choose this as a profession??? And I'm still really pissed off at the guy who yanked one of my teeth a few years ago. I asked that he save it for me so I could take it home and bury it. He said of course, but chucked it out into the big bin with a zillion teeth in it. This new guy better give it to me!

Will be on T-3's for a few days, looking forward to making whacked out comments :)

September 13, 2006

YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally!!!!! I sent away an ad from the back of a comic book for my 'focus on the shamily' official recognition and my official certificate arrived yesterday. I am overjoyed! I scanned it and it's available for me to post on this site as an icon link.

I had to ask my mom for permission, pay $25,000 (slapped it on my husband's credit card cuz that's what real women do), and anwer a series of questions:
1. DO YOU BELIEVE IN RELIGIOUS DICTATORSHIP : of course sillies, wasn't Mussolini catholic?
2. DO YOU BELIEVE IN RELIGIOUS DICTATORSHIP: oh you're trying to trick me :D yes.
3. DO YOU BELIEVE IN RELIGIOUS DICTATORSHIP: yes, yes, yes,.
4. DO YOU BELIEVE IN RELIGIOUS DICTATORSHIP: can't make me mad, I stand by my man.
5. IS THE BABE IN SWADDLINGS YOUR HERO: yes, I believe in religious dictatorship.

Stop by any store that sells comics and look for 'Super Christ, Jesus Star'. You can find the application on the very back page.

September 11, 2006

Nightmare on Pennsylvania Ave. and Front St. - 25 years after 911



NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! WAKE ME UP, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

September 10, 2006

Showing Their True Colours (or lack of tolerance for others)







With my new Focus on Family Certification (seal of approval logo to be posted soon), I thought it would be fun to visit the good folks over at Caledonia Wake Up Call. They're a fine bunch of upstanding citizens who've taken upon themselves to group and lobby government to defeat those, those, terrorist redskin mohawks.

These screenshots will save you the trouble of giving them more hit counts, afterall, we don't want all their good ideas going to their heads. But what a great site! Cartoons and even a link to photos of Harper and MacKay!!! I mean, why NOT vote Conservative when guys like Steve and Pete have so much to offer the supporters of Wake Up???

OH! I wish we could move there and get in their club. They probably have roasts of the kingpins, fund raisers where you get to hob nob with Caledonia big wigs, and no doubt there's door prizes from the Caledonia Chamber of Commerce. Instead I'm stuck on an island off the west coast of B.C. and we only have a small clack of racists who don't have a club. Darn. And First Nations issues go so well in B.C., like, check out Somena Media's Bittersweet Victory.

911=shitty. 90% of natives being wiped out by colonization and the genocide continues=shittier.

This is not to dis stories about 911. In fact The Gazateer points to an incredible piece written by L-Girl

September 09, 2006

Ever Notice...




Here's Steve and Gordo after the $55 million 'Softwood lumber shutup Olympic deal'. Ever notice Steve's morphing?

Stupid Famous People #7

Fanfare, fanfare!! For the second time in a row the mighty Q of North of Center guessed the Famous Stupid Person!!!

This time it was Alessandra Mussolini

September 08, 2006

911 - Avoiding the Hoopla



From: obl@superdisguise.com
Subject: 'You Know What'
Date: September 11, 2006 5:45:13 AM PDT (US)
To: dubya@secretaddress.com


George you're late! Quit rubbing the chick's shoulders and get over here.
Thats not true my mother was in the navy ;-P
OBL

From: dubya@secretaddress.com
Subject: 'You Know What'
Date: September 11, 2006 5:45:13 AM PDT (US)
To: obl@superdisquise.com


Osama, regualar time and place? I'll bring the cowboy porn DVD.
Your mother wears army boots LOL.
GWB

From: obl@superdisguise.com
Subject: 'You Know What'
Date: September 11, 2006 5:45:13 AM PDT (US)
To: dubya@secretaddress.com


Super secret plan in effect.
May a thousand camels shit on your ranch. ROFLMAS.
OBI

From: dubya@secretaddress.com
Subject: 'You Know What'
Date: September 11, 2006 5:45:13 AM PDT (US)
To: obl@superdisquise.com


We worked hard and we got a plan.
What do you call an Arab standing between two buildings? BORED! LOL
GWB

September 07, 2006

Video Kids at War

Raised on Gameboy, X-Box and the countless video games offered at arcade shops, airports, and on the computer, today's soldier has twitching thumbs ready to grab the joystick and push the button that annihaltes the enemy. Add a strong dose of fear, drugs and steroids and it's no wonder numbed-out kids are pushing the buttons at anything they see. Put them in a jet high above the reality of human contact and trigger happy takes on a whole new dimension.

It doesn't matter what you're seeing on your screen, hit the button 'cause life only means you and not the images down below. How many kids picked off 'just anything' on their game boxes in a second of boredom before 'the bad guy' reappeared? Now these same kids are given uniforms, taught the technology of war and put into 'the real thing'. With names like 'Tides of War', 'Invisible War', 'Prisoner of War' and 'Wings of War' dominating the X-Box mind, brainwashing's taken on a whole new dimension since yesteryear's t.v. shows like Hogan's Heroes and the countless black and white World War Two documentaries I was forced to watch as a kid so my dad was satisfied we would work towards something like that never happening again.

Somehow that transpired into Clockwork Agent-Orange.

Afghanistan and Iraq are non-conscription. The average North American troop still joins as a means out of poverty. But recruiters hit high schools and colleges now as they want a more 'educated soldier' capable of operating and maintaining the computerized gear. In WW2 recruiters were more apt to hit the pool halls and bars before the draft came into effect.

The troops and their families who were stationed at radioactive sites after experiments with glowing bombs came into being are all but dead and it's not a pretty way of going. I know, I worked on a couple who, after Korea, were stationed at one. I thought they were in their 80's and dementia had set in. WRONG! They were in their 60's and feeling the final affects of their long agony. Now we have kids not only exposed on a daily basis to radiation but the chemicals and germs of warfare...read 'Bosnia'.

In my travels through the States over the last few years I've had the opportunity to talk with youth dressed in their fatigues, ready to leave for their first tour of duty. Not one wasn't scared. I've talked with some who had been over and never wanted to go back but were tied into doing so. Meantime I was camped out on the beautiful shores of the Big Island of Hawaii, sharing the grounds with Vietnam Vets. These men still carried the effects of war...paranoia, night terrors, the shakes. They all packed guns. Too many times I had to break up fights, fearful that someone would reach for their magnum.

So what's it going to be now? Almost every kid in my day played 'army', be it with sticks, acorns, pots and pans for helmuts before Gameboy and Paintball. At least Paintball gives a stinging dose of reality, and those acorns hurt if winged really hard. Sitting in front of a monitor with only the chance of 'loosing' the game is not exactly feeling pain. I've had my hand at playing these games to see what they're like....exciting, incredible visuals and sound effects. And you bet I'd get trigger happy.

Now the X-Box men sitting in the White House and Parliament dream up new games to sell to the kids. Glory, glory, glory, bloody gory glory. 'Iraq, a chance to save your country and put your joysticks to the test'. 'Afghanistan; outsmart the Taliban with you at the controls!'. It seems The Hawk's idea of destiny has been packaged under new graphics and cellophane. And to think the world was once aghast because 'The Terrorists' were ordering Gameboys by the thousands to use the computer chips in missiles. All the while we should have been recalling the bloody things for the propoganda chips they were placing in children's minds.

No wonder the level of 'friendly fire' is what it is. After all, it's only a game, right?

September 06, 2006

Stephen Harper Admits Tunnel runs from 24 Sussex to Stornoway


President Bush has finally admitted secret CIA prisons house alleged terrorists.

Amongst the fray is 24 Sussex and the official opposition leader's house, Stornoway. While Stephen Harper admits an underground tunnel links the two, he said it was designed because his children like to play 'Dungeons and Dragons', and was paid for out of his own pocket.

Meantime all liberal leadership contenders who are drooling at the chance of occupying Stornoway until the Harper Government falls, and Jack Layton, have visited the historical building with decoration ideas. All report hearing strange sounds from a sub-basement room. Until now these noises were thought to be the ghost-of-opposition-past.

Now that we know it's little Ben and Rachel (interesting the Harpers gave their children Old Testament names) running around with their knights and gremlins we can rest easy about imprisoned terrorists. I'm sure the kids throw them table scraps while they're being tortured.

September 05, 2006

I've been tagged now my arm hurts!!!

OH NO!!!!! i've been tagged by The Rev at The Woodshed!!!!

this means i have to list a bunch of fave books etc. i'm bipolar and symptoms have worsened with age. one of them is reading concentration. i've accepted this but it was difficult for many years as i was the type who used to have 3 or 4 books on the go at a time. it's been a decade since i haven't been able to read much. i do get embarrassed about this so when someone says, 'what have you read lately?' i just say i don't, that i only read on the internet , which is true and a blessing because it's easy to set limitations and most articles are short :)

A book that changed my life there have been many help my life evolve. nothing stands out any more then others . depends how old i was and what was going on in my life, mind etc.. 'paddle to the sea' which as a kid i just related to so much. 'a wrinkle in time' which we had to read in grade five and somehow confirmed for me that good witches and different times and realms do exist (even though it was fiction i took it as real). i thought nancy drew was a really fucked up woman but we had to read her at home.

grade 8 i discovered john wyndham and a penchant for 'social science fiction'....... my dad giving me his old jack kerouc and damon runion when i was 16 was way cool. kurt vonnegut, herman hesse, hunter s. thompson. can-lit was big, alice munro, robertson davies, margaret atwood, margaret lawrence, alice munro. books i read in woman's studies who's titles i can't remember but i'm still really fucking pissed off that i leant them out and they weren't returned!!!!!!!!

these all had impact on me. they helped altered my life at various stages. music lyrics made a larger impact on me then books.

A book I've read more then once. i honestly can't remember but i know there's been a few. robertson davie's 'the deptford trilogy', but i can't remember what it was about.

What book would you take to a desert island The Oxford Dictionary or an encyclopedia set (i'll consider that one book split into several)

A book that made me laugh 'the bandy papers' by donald jack....about a world war one flying ace who does nothing but screw up. i was howling!!!!

A book that made me cry following the rev's lead, there was a book i used to read to our little girl that had me in a sobbing mess everytime. DAMN I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME!!!!!! or even what it was about. i think the title was something like 'i'll love you until..'.

A book I wish had been written 'how to get out of tooth hell in one easy step and one easy second'. it would actually be a pamphlet.

A book I wish had never been written ' my life' by scout vagabond and 3 years straight on the new york times best seller list. too bad i forgot to give the publisher my address, i'd like the royalties and i kick myself for having written it every 1st of the month.

Books I am currently reading nothing.

Books I've been meaning to read hmm, 'red tent' and a couple of others, not many.

What turned me on to fiction dr. seuss, beatrix potter, all that early stuff. dad making up stories was the best!!!!

Final thoughts i also loved james harriet and gerald durrell. 'harriet the spy' was part of my life and i used to eat ketchup sandwiches with my little sister and we'd spy on the neighbourhood with our harriet get ups.

books are amazing and wonderful. sometimes i still grieve the loss of the ability to read them. BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT: the books our daughter had to read in school were all geared to boys and she disliked reading until about 20 as a result. she's only 23 and i was so looking forward to her being turned on to cool books at school, but bowen island is in the west van school district and they are backwards and couldn't even bring themselves to give choice.... shit, i think we even had that when i was a kid!!!!!!!

The five i'll pass this poll to:
cheez at Neuronic
annamarie at Verbena-19
jeff at African Perspective
BC Waterboy at The Kalamalka Rainbow
bruce at Canuck Attitude

Famous Stupid People Winner!!!!

The whistles are blowing and the sirens screaming......Q of North of Center guessed new Mexican slime, er I mean President Elect Felipe Calderon.

Please see the sidebar for a blurb on Q's site, and Q, email me scout_vagabond@yahoo.ca with your address so I can send you a stupid prize (what size is your cat's head?).

Pesky Injuns at it Again

Clan Mother Kahentinetha Horn writes We Are Still Here, Ever Wonder Why?"

This called for an emergency meeting between Prime Minister Harper and President Bush.

Harper: Geor...I mean, Mr. President, those pesky injuns are giving me the creeps with their survival abilities
Bush: Steve, ya gotta work hard. We're working hard. Don't worry, stay in the mid-east, we'll get the drugs onto the rez as usual. Won't be long.
Harper: But...
Bush: But nothing. Get back in your Stampede outfit but make it the one from last year, this year's John Howard hat was a bit much. Stay in the saddle, Steve.
Harper: Yes sir. Should I have the OPP , the RCMP and the army who's on standby insight more provokers to stir things up and give us an excuse to go in and kill?
Bush: Now you're talking! No more of this lilly-livered Canadian attitude, o.k.?
Harper: Yes Sir! Thank you Sir! Let the Pyramid scheme rule!

September 04, 2006

Wikipedia Woes

Post your email a couple of times and you get some interesting news. Wikipedia's 'Stephen Harper' and 'Politics of Canada' pages has had someone include a humour category with this site and others added onto them. Then they were deleted, re-posted and I understand the wrangling continues. PLUS the person's account was hacked and password changed so a new account had to be created.

Reasons for deletion cite Wiki guidelines not recommending blogspots as relevant links. Comments also include that Harper Valley has no encyclopedic value and the majority of posts have nothing to do with Steve Harper. Counter arguements include political humour as historical reaction by the grassroots and Wiki guideline exceptions to external links (i think i've got this right).

Anyways, if you would like to see humour as an external link included on these Wiki pages then go to the sites, hit 'discussion' and support the idea of humour as important historical encyclopedic value that reflects grassroots opinion. You can also click on the 'edit' above external links and add humour sites (cynasism, satire etc.) dealing with Harper or Canadian politics.

Stephen Harper
Politics of Canada

Crocodile Hunter and Crocodile Tears

Today's news: Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin dies from a stingray attack........More Canadian troops in Afghanistan die, Jack Layton calls again for withdrawl, Stephen Harper says he is deeply saddened by the deaths.

Steve! Those are crocodile tears you're shedding from that onion in your hand...nice touch. If you really cared you'd take Layton's advise. Crikey!

September 03, 2006

Official Congrats From Harper


29 years ago today we were a couple of kids thinking we would be together forever. Today we're still kids at heart (well I am, Mr. Scout seems to have a knack for maturity, I think he was born with a full set of teeth or something) and it still looks like we'll be together forever. I know, 29 years plus three years living together first is a long time but we like to buck trends).

We received an official note from Stephen Harper and that's the seal on it. Looks kinda , hmm, down south. The note read:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Scout,
Congratulations to you and your daughter! I have placed your names on the Focus on Family registration. The Conservative Government is committed to honour Canadians like yourselves and next year we will be giving tax breaks on a sliding scale per years of non-gay marriage. This will be reflected in special cards allowing for further GST reduction. Your daughter is welcome to contribute to my campaign.
Sincerely,
Stephen and Laureen Harper
(the note contained these historic photos of the PM and his family)

September 02, 2006

Snakes in the Tobacco Field

Six Nation Clan Mother Kahentinetha Horn has pegged politicians right when she compares them to snakes. In her latest article 'Economic Pythons' she reports that there have been arrests of indigenous people for carrying tobacco from one indigenous community to another (perfectly legal).

With viper orders from above it's no wonder Harper is famous for his HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSY FITS. Such a slithering lot, those neos and Ontario glibs. Let's keep things on a even scale, no sense in rattling issues.

September 01, 2006

Famous Stupid People # 6

Wow, #6 already.....this time it's a male. good luck, let the Jeopardy music begin!!!

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