Harper Valley

I want to tell you all a story 'bout a Harper Valley widowed wife
Who tried support her kids who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play
She said, "Mom, I got a note here from the Harper Valley P.T.A."

The note said, "Mrs. Johnson, we know you support abortions and are totally against war
You been out there protesting and trying to get the government to give more
We don't support you and your radical aims and goals"
Signed the Harper Valley P.T.A., 'Progressive Twits and Assholes'.

Well, it happened that the P.T.A. was gonna meet that very afternoon
They were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson brought her clan right into the room
They wore suits and tie-dye, rags, and some were even gay
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley P.T.A."

Well, there's cabinet ministers sitting there who've asked me if I wanna screw
Have stocks and shares in Haliburton, and Lockheed Martin too
And how come so many want to war and steal more land from the Mohawks?
Then go to church on Sunday and are casting stones as big as rocks?

Well Mr. Harper couldn't be here cause he was down visiting Bush
And secretly they were grabbing each other's little neo-touche
Then you have the nerve to tell me you think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well this is just a little Peyton Place and you're all assholes and upper class twits

No I wouldn't put you on because everyone was caught in their roles
The day my Mama socked it to the Progressive Twits and Assholes
The day my Mama socked it to the Progressive Twits and Assholes