Harper Valley

Oh he's itching for it, isn't he? After Busholini gave him his combat name, Steve, Harper's just been waiting for NATO to be called upon to the defence of Israel. While his combat gear that he ordered from the back of a Superman comicbook took a few weeks to arrive and he checked the mail everyday, Steve was so excited when it came he tried it on immediatley. Boreen says he had to cancel an appointment with the parents of the slain Canadian UN worker to do it, but he just couldn't contain his glee.

In addition, Steve had ordered his new King James Special Wartime edition, which is said to replace any need for a helmut or other protection. Said Boreen, "He's so brave anyways. On the flight to Cyprus, he just kept reminding me that The Lord was on our side and we were safe. It's not true what the reports said about him peeing his pants because of fear, it was because he doesn't like to go number one and two when there's anyone but his guards around'.

Great Steve, we'll just tack on a bill to the taxpayers for all the Depends you'll need if you keep heading in the direction you are.